Bit of Cloudflare instability today.
Took a walk today and am now resting with Melbcat curled into me as the little spoon.
I’ve sorted her specialist appointment and am waiting for it to roll around.
Edit: Crocheting and hopping around finding something to watch. Melbcat got up to lie on the carpet… I’m fidgety and bored
I wish I could find more people that used to live the way I did and got out, and live normal lives.
I’ve been looking for a long, long time.
Everyone from that world who gets out becomes an acolyte of the 12 step program. That’s not for me and those people and I don’t get along.
It would be nice to talk to someone who gets it.
Goodnight all ♥️
Hmm I’m just thinking, maybe you could start a Meetup group?
I would love to hear your story one day though! It takes a lot to get out of living that way. I wish I could do something to help people in those situations but I feel like it’s got to come from within. Could be wrong though.
Witch is right, no one can help you till you decide to stop.
I didn’t really have a lot of help, but I think that worked in my favour. No safety net means no room for error.
I might write my story up one day, or shoot me a message.
You are not wrong. It does have to come from within. Help matters once the journey out has started. Nothing and no one other than the person themselves can do the actual starting.
Indeed. And even then, having help can be dangerous. I’ve seen a lot of people with caring families fail because they always had a safety net of sorts.
Hope this isn’t intrusive but I have decent google fu.
https://www.addictionhelp.com/recovery/smart-recovery/ (More recent link)
It might be geared more at people that aren’t out yet but hopefully some made it out and still go for maintenance support 🤞
I will say though that CBT isn’t for everyone either - also avoid the ‘find treatment now’ buttons on the second site and go directly to the meeting links, as Better Help is known to be dodgy as hell.
I am so tired, sorry I’m not more active here
goodnight, sweet dreams everyone 😘
Have a good sleep
Some random sketchy dude walked past my flat, came back and peered inside, and claimed to be looking for someone. I growled at him until he left and called the cops. Gfdi.
Come to think of it I heard a sus amount of noise outside earlier but thought it was the black cat. Who knows.
Nights like these I wish I was larger. But it seems I did manage to spook him.
I’m still buzzed/happy from the Young Seagoons visit. The bonds have never been stronger. 😊💖They are lovely people.
And you raised them! You’re a lovely person, Seagoon. They get it from you <3
I bought a new body trimmer. I practiced on the man’s back. It was all fun and games up until I accidently nicked the scrotum.
practiced on the man’s back.
accidently nicked the scrotum.
How damned high do that man’s balls ride??
He obviously tossed them over his shoulder like a regimental soldier
Hahaha. I ran out of spots to shave. The ball sack seem like a good idea at the time.
I was doing so good too.
tmi
I’m sorry. I shouldn’t tell people he’s got a hairy back.
I for one want to hear more about deputy CEOs nutsack
It was like trying to shave 2 peaches in a net bag.
Scotums are very vascular, they bleed lots! Hopefully just superficial.
Yeah he’s good now but I’m never allowed to do that again.
Until he does a worse job with diy…
Nah. It was a once in a lifetime experiment.
Turned on lossless on Spotify. There is a very clear positive difference in audio quality and not in a gold-plated-audio-cable kind of way. Sounds very full and detailed – pumping bass and very crispy hi-hats. Didn’t know what I was missing.
I’ve got my quality setting on very high (320kbps), do you think lossless makes a big difference? I did want to turn the setting on but I download my music so much more storage needed for lossless.
There are separate quality settings for streaming vs downloading, and you can set it per device*, would those fix the issue?
I’ve noticed that the caching will always choose the highest quality available, so I can’t easily flip back and forth between qualities to compare and give you a “big difference” answer. I am definitely noticing more in the low end – bass guitar/cello/kicks are all much more present in the mix. But I can do without that when I’m listening on my phone while out and about. At home with unlimited streaming its no problem.
*Edit: I think
Right. I’m a bit drunk after the local trivia night.
TIKA THE IGGY
^HOWEVER.
Fuck people who use their pets are social media props. Like absolutely fuck them.
I followed Tika the Iggy for a few years - until her owners acquired a new Iggy while acknowledging alongside that Tika was starting to age. It felt like their were preparing Tika to die and needed a back up in the wings. I stopped following them because something about introducing the new Iggy gave me the ick.
I was so happy when I saw late last month that they were celebrating Tika’s retirement - almost like they were celebrating the opportunities Tika had brought them while giving Tika some peace - no more traveling, no more spotlight… except Tika died very early November. I cannot imagine what decisions her family went to leading up to that and I cannot imagination what small children have following up.
However… having having the new Iggy make her international red carpet less than a month later sounded so cold hearted that I just can’t even. I don’t want to believe they’re using props to make up for Tika, but the costumes they’ve had Kala in just break my heart.
I want to believe in Tika/Kala’s parents. Really! But I can’t.^
Also, I drank like a lot of red wine tonight, so I’m not mad at myself for getting passionate about this.
I bought some cheap jeans from Kmart which were too wide in the legs, so have taken the legs in by a couple of inches and hemmed them to a sensible height. They are now presentable enough to wear for general stuff like gardening and dog walking, even if they are never going to be high fashion. It’s good to have the sewing space useable, even if it does need a lot more sorting still - the table is covered with fabric that needs to be put away once I can figure out where.
oversharing about annoying friend
I don’t know why she told me all this but
Found out today that the friend I’ve commented on about here who’s always late and does other things that are inconsiderate is cheating the Centrelink system. I’ve been friends with her since the beginning of high school, and she would come to school without lunch because her parents wouldn’t feed her and she didn’t know how to feed herself. Now her father just throws money at her, probably as an apology for not actually being a parent. She lives at home with her father, studying, and is unemployed, but her father lists her as an employee so he pays less tax. She is leeching off not only his money, but is now getting payments from Centrelink because her dad’s income is less than is what is reported due to the loopholes like this.
What has she done with this “free money” so far? No, she doesn’t buy groceries often or contribute to the household. She’s sent me pictures of the things she’s bought - $250 worth of lipsticks (half price on sale), a $250 bracelet, and a speaker for her PC. When it comes to going out for food though, she won’t spend more than $15 ever. Or she will drive (using her dad’s money for petrol) to places pretty out of the way to get cheap food.
Meanwhile, people on the DSP can’t move in with their partners earning an income, because the system thinks their partner can support them.
I’ve commented on all this before but it’s “free money” so she doesn’t care. I don’t engage with her when she tells me what she’s bought. It’s absolutely disgusting how the system allows for things like this. I appreciate that I can be my weird self around this friend, but the misalignment of morals and values we’ve got going is really rubbing me the wrong way.
I love that you feel like you can be your weird self around this friend, but it also seems like they weigh you down in so many other ways. There will be other friends out there that will prop you up without being a weight on the other side.
I agree. Our mutual friend makes me feel that way.
You should ditch this person.
Seconded
Yeah fr.
😠
So what about the mum? What is she doing?
and also 🤷♀️, it takes all kinds of people and I gave up long ago wasting time and emotion on fretting on how other people live. I only have enough energy for myself, fam and friends and to help people in need.
So friend is not a really bad person? Then don’t worry about it.
The mum is a narcissist.
Edit: Sorry wrong thread
Good looking out. May I suggest keeping this girl as only an acquaintance (or doing the slow fade) in case she or her father try to use you in unethical ways?
This girl has also shown potential to just leech off you with zero guilt.
Absolutely. Never met the father but I stood in his shop once to wait for my friend and he didn’t even say hello haha
deleted by creator
Two new people at my co-working space having a Teams meeting on speaker and playing videos out loud. Put up with it for 30 minutes. Then went over and asked them to please stop playing videos from their computer on speaker loudly as it’s distracting to my work, and there are free meeting pods around if you need to make noise. No sorry, no speaking at all, just looked at me and each other like I was crazy for confronting them. Amazing how inconsiderate people can be.
They immediately packed up and moved someone else.
They immediately packed up and moved someone else.
A win. I cracked it at a family holding up the line for the tunnel walk on Sunday. They didn’t have their QR codes up and traffic was backing up. Dad was trying to be all just give me a minute until I loudly encouraged him to step aside while he learned to use his phone. He gave me the dirtiest look but stepped aside.
We need more shit like that called out publicly. I don’t hesitate when some idiot needs to be confronted. Public humiliation is a powerful tool.
The old me would have stayed quiet and put up with it, but not anymore.
I’ve also learned my lesson to call this behaviour out quickly. There’s a group of people from a business (not here today) who have been members longer than me who are so loud, so disruptive, and essentially untouchable (management won’t confront them after I complained). They also know they’re bothering me when I’m here and give no shits. So as soon as there’s a new disruptive group, I approach very quickly to teach some workplace etiquette they should already know.
Wankers like that in the workplace feel so much worse. I expect more from adults, and yet…constant disappointment. Good on you for evolving :)
I cracked the shits at a builder next door playing shit techno at full blast few days ago.
I like techno, but not that sort of techno, particularly when you’re angle grinding rebar.
Haven’t played it since lol.
I won that round.
Travelling again for work so another slightly dodgy breakfast but I got to hang out with this absolute legend
Title
They’re so funny and curious about people. Almost like if dogs were birds
Wow I want your job! Probably very much a grass is greener sort of thing though.
Oh yes…I then spent all day in small rooms talking my guts out to people!
:(((
That’s a great picture too!
very old MIL came over
she went on a rant about VicRoads. How dare they ask for all my medical details. my bad health doesn’t mean I can’t drive, and how dare they ask me to get retested.
“I’m a very good driver, better than “insert name of son” ( who drives her everywhere, ) I see all the things he doesn’t. I see everything and anticipate.”
She’s 86 and can barely get in a car and she can’t walk well.
She was so angry when I said maybe she shouldn’t be driving.
I’m only concerned that someone else may get hurt.
Narcissism in old age manifests in new and interesting ways.
The absolute rage someone I knew flew into when his doctor reported him as no longer fit to drive. Never mind the fact that he blacked out while driving his car, fell asleep on a forklift and had lost a large chunk of his spatial awareness leading to scraping the shit out of his car, but “HoW dArE tHeY”. Fucker is lucky he didn’t hurt anyone. And yet still thought it was an excellent choice to not take his medication.
Some people would rather talk about other people’s faults than admit their own.
Thee main thing that made me feel angry was the way she insulted her son who drives here everywhere who looks after her.
She feels no gratitude and thinks saying thank you is abasement.
I remember my brother telling me about his 91 yo MIL, who was becoming increasingly dangerous behind the wheel and everyone in his wife’s family were just way too timid to face her wrath on the subject. So he “had to play the bastard son-in-law” because it was getting ridiculous and only a matter of time. She was utterly enraged, demanding her licence back, causing a fuss. They made her do a test and she failed. She was even more viciously angry, and demanded another test. She again failed. They found out she was still driving. My brother took her keys. She was absolutely beside herself with rage. She was in complete denial. In the end she was going to demand another test but death got in the way. What a way to spend your twilight years. Some people are just unbelievable.
Oh jeez I feel this. Had to have ‘the conversation’ the other day too (again) w/ mum. She’s no longer driving but the topic keeps coming up.
😔 my poor dad barely passed his recent driving test, and almost definitely won’t pass his next. His partner will keep him in line though and won’t let him try when he’s not allowed
My grandma is 85 and gets so annoyed about the driving question because she’s still fine. But it sounds like your MIL is getting defensive because she still wants to drive even though she shouldn’t. People take that stuff as an insult.
I think there should be a driving test for people once they reach a certain age. Maybe even every ten years or something. That won’t stop people driving like hoons in the meantime. but I wonder how many would fail.
That ‘certain age’ should be 30 imo. And maybe 25 for tradies driving to the public danger in walloping great SUVs stuffed to the gunnels with tools & ladders. Or, alternatively, anyone involved in a car accident or parking bingle has to get re-tested no matter what age they are to claim their insurance. At ‘fault’ or not. This could take all the ageism out of getting re-tested. And imo would lead to MUCH more polite and courteous driving. From everybody.
I agree.
Am totally with you one this one
I like to think that when I’m old enough I will heed any advice that I should stop driving, if I haven’t already voluntary realised it myself. But, with the number of cases I hear of elderly people believing they are fine to drive when they are clearly not, I wonder if some kind of self awareness problem happens in old age? Yes some are narcissists but they can’t all be, can they? Will my brain become selfish and dumb when I’m old? I really really hope not. I don’t want to be that person. Anyway, hope the vicroads testing sorts out the MIL and gets her off the road. Safer for everyone.
Imo half the problem is that driving is so damn convenient - and it’s been sold as ‘freedom’ for many decades now. Getting your licence and a car was/is a rite of passage that says you’re an adult now. Some of the rage is having to admit to oneself that you’re losing your independence, that you need help, that you are becoming a helpless child again. Even when this is true, it hurts damnably.
And there’s another level of pain when you’ve been the caregiver, the provider, the one that controls access to the outside world via a car.
And a car offers comfortable, private, weatherproof transport that just can’t happen on public transport of any sort. You can dress comfortably with less reference to the outside world as you’re less exposed to the weather. And there’s the ability to carry heavy/bulky stuff over quite long distances - far further than you can haul in a shopping cart of some sort on the bus. When there is a bus. If the bus stop/train station has a seat and is rain/sun proof (and not all of them are). Giving up all those benefits AND your independence … no, the rage is quite understandable imo. Doesn’t make it right to keep driving tho. And the risk to other road users just keeps on growing.
I’ve never understood the urge to retire to the country/beach - far from services, shops and health care. Where driving is essential for life. You really do have to come to terms with the knowledge that eventually you’re going to need a GP or an Aldi within walking distance or spend the bulk of your retirement income on taxis or equivalent.
This is the big issue with her.
Against all suggestions from fam she chose to live in an area that is far from services and shopping and medical , plus it’s an ugly house that is hard to maintain.
She is angry when others choose better/wisely for themselves, even if it costs the same.
I do not understand. Maybe she thinks she is more powerful if she sets herself up as a “victim” that demands help.
There are definitely awareness problems with age, especially with dementia. There’s even a word for it, anosognosia. It’s one reason a lot of people’s plans for old age don’t work out, they assume they will have the capacity to recognise when they need to make changes, whether that be stopping driving, not climbing ladders or going into aged care. And because our society values being able to make your own choices we allow people to cause a lot of damage to themselves and others before we allow anyone else to step in and start making decision.
Some people of course do use denial as a coping strategy through their whole lives, and that can also be a cause of refusing to admit being unable to do things. It doesn’t help that our society sees aging as a bad thing and has a lot of prejudice against the elderly, people would not feel as much need to deny their own aging if it was seen as a more positive thing.
Here’s another thing I don’t get: Influencers that are just like a regular person. I can understand following rich people or people that were famous for something once. But I saw one woman who just lives in a 100 year old house and is renovating it kind of. I can understand if someone has an online presence about something, but there are people who are just there and don’t seem to have any particular niche or angle.
I saw one woman who just lives in a 100 year old house and is renovating it
That sounds mildly interesting (to me)
spoiler
The rest of the influencers are pretty pointless though
Jenna something? My ex used to watch her because he wanted to renovate a house one day and kind of got me onto it. But the regular people, I think people want to relate to others and feel “connected”. Rich people are far removed from them.
I don’t have TikTok, but I follow an old blog that does a weekly TikTok round up and the “influencer” shit that gets talked about and blows up just baffles me so fuckin’ much.
I almost don’t mind listening to influencer drama because it’s all so decoupled from reality and anything significant it just feels like short stories about the stupidest people you’ve ever heard of
That’s true, probably why I read the post every week. It’s crazy what people get themselves in a tizzy over. And what people are freakin’ willing to film themselves doing. Like GET A BRAIN.
I think there’s a big difference between people who set out to be “influencers” and people who just do what they want that’s maybe a little different and film it or just want to share.
Meaningless observations/waffling on because I'm bored at work
Yesterday I came across a lady who’s turning her Boston apartment into a 1980’s Malibu style place. I have friends who watch mount bikers. Boyo used to keep up with a couple who were restoring a yacht to live on. I think the people who do these things on hope of getting famous piss me off, but the people who are just doing something a little out there and filming it are fine by me. I follow an instagram of a guy who’s adopted a whole bunch of senior dogs and really appreciate that whenever people ask to send him donations he’s always “no thanks, I’ve got this”. Made respect to him vs people who buy dogs and dress them up in order to beg for views.
Got a bag to pack and I’m procrastinating it
