My wife was waiting for me by the exit of Target with my infant son, and a lady rushed up with her cart, a baby in the baby holder, said, “Here, watch him!” and ran in the rest room.
I walked up, and saw my wife with another baby, and said, “We can’t afford two, we’ll have to return one,” and she told me the story. I thought it was hilarious, and couldn’t wait to meet this woman when she came out of the bathroom.
She eventually emerged, and thanked my wife for the help, and I said “You weren’t worried about handing your daughter off to a stranger?” And she replied:
“No, she already had one, I knew she wasn’t about to steal ANOTHER one!”
Well most of times you can differentiate frustration screaming and fear/danger screaming on toddlers
I can’t even differentiate the screams of play time from those of being brutally murdered that the kids I hear playing around my apartment complex make…
The screams of playtime are usually the ones punctuated by an adult yelling at them to shut up.
Same, and I have kids, so I, technically, should be able to differentiate.
There is a reason for declining child birth numbers… it has everything to do with more people knowing what they are really getting into.
Well if there was public daycare to take the stress off of parents who couldn’t deal with it then it wouldn’t be as big of an issue.
And that everyone’s too damn poor. Babysitter? Not on average wages! No one wants to give up all of their time and money for kids they might not be able to provide for.
There are people giving 100% of their paychecks for childcare and the spouse pays for everything else.
That is a failure of the US and birth rates won’t improve until that changes.
won’t improve
Nothing wrong with current birth rates, just the reasons for them.
I think you meant
won’t increase
Low birth rates deplete the work force in the long term. Creates issues where tax revenue is low and cost of social programs and healthcare are extremely high because there are so many people at retirement age and beyond. Birth rates at a minimum should be stagnant.
deplete the word force
Its spelled “increase the negotiating power of labor”
tax revenues are low
Tax billionaires out if existence. Or re-organize society so we work somewhat efficiently and don’t spend 90% of allblabor doing useless corpo bosswank.
See, this is only a problem gor evil exploitative oligarch shit heels. Benefits humans very much.
My son(11) will say, “you can’t do that, I’ll call the police and they will arrest you”. I say, great maybe I’ll get some peace and quiet. He doesn’t know I won’t, so it works. Lol.
I think it’s time. you gotta sacrifice the strategy because 11 is old enough to know acab
… but if you were to call the cops on me at least it would be a brief yet welcome reprieve from parenting while they come to the inevitable conclusion that he is mine and they don’t want him around either
I’m so feeling this this morning. I asked the 4yo if he wanted cereal or yogurt for breakfast. He screams “I’m not hungry! I want mama!”, runs to his room and slams the door. Two minutes later he comes out and punches me in the dick while I’m making lunches.
I love hearing other parents have asshole kids, because it reminds me that I’m not alone.
My kid went through the same phase all kids do of refusing to go to bed.
So one night he’s grabbing on to the baby gate at the top of the stairs like a con in a prison movie, screaming and yelling. I’m at the bottom of the stairs trying to ignore him.
He fixed a stare directly at me, stopped screaming, and shit in his pants.
So yeah, 100% of parents have arsehole kids.
You are not; but they are not really assholes. They are optimising for some outcome that they want, with inferior tools/mechanisms. Depending on age, their brain runs on emotion most of the time, logic is a distant second place.
In saying all of that…they can seem like assholes in the moment!!!
Yeah, it’s funny. Sometimes my son, 4, he’ll talk to me, but his speech and communication are still in the very basics, and I’ll say, Buddy, I’m sorry, I don’t know what you’re saying, and he’ll get frustrated, which leads to anger, all because I don’t understand what he’s saying.
Turn the tables, I’m like, Dude, go to the bathroom, we’re getting in the car, you go to the bathroom before we drive, and he’ll say NO! And now I’m the one who’s frustrated and angry because he’s now the one who’s not understanding what I’m saying.
As always, communication is key, and breakdowns always cause problems. And so we’re all just along for the ride.
Ah yes; the tactical wees discussion.
“Yes, I know you don’t need to go right now; but we are going to be in the car for 30 - 40 minutes; go to the toilet now please!”
Yeah, no. They’re assholes. Little ones, but still assholes.
I mean, the dick punch was really unnecessary but I am glad that other families experience… Weirdness, I guess. And exclusion of a parent.
I can’t count how often I read and heard the advice to “just present your kid with two options to choose from”.
My kid, even before she became verbal, always wanted option C when presented with two options.
“Do you want this hat or this cap?” “Neither”
“Do you want this blue pants or these red sweatpants?” “I want… a green… dress” we don’t even have a green dress.
“Shall we go to the zoo today or do you want to go to the playground with Anna?” “I want to go on the trampoline” .
Yeah the first time I tried the two options for clothes on my then-two year old, he snatched both options out of my hands, threw them on the ground, and screamed NO CLOTHES
The problem with parenting advice is every kid is different. This becomes clear after raised a gaggle of them. Anyone with one child that is giving advice is clueless.
My suggestion is not to give that type of child options. Tell them what’s happening. Then do it. May that not work any better and ignores why you may have started giving them choices.
You didn’t specify an age but typically choices are best for later development. Toddlers are terrorists and one should never negotiate with a terrorist.
So true. I have two and they’re complete opposites. Every single thing that one is easy about the other is hard. I thought that the second would be easier because I learned some things from the first, but every lesson was useless.
I present two options. If my kid doesn’t pick one of those two options, either by not responding or by requesting a third thing, I’m picking one of the two options for him. And I’m always picking what he’s least likely to want.
You know, this weirdly makes the whole shit world-state seem much more natural lol
Kinda reminds me of when I was using dating apps, and women would ask how they knew I wasn’t a serial killer. “If I was a serial killer, it would be pretty stupid to leave a bunch of digital records of me being the last person my victim talked to, I’d get caught immediately.”
I’ve been reading some variation of this joke since the early 80s.
I am confident it can be found somewhere in Shakespeare’s plays and perhaps on clay tablets hidden deep in the Mesopotamian valley.
This very much could have been my husband about a decade ago. The last tantrum my middle child ever threw, with lots of screaming and running and destroying things like a fucking tornado in the middle of a Target. Spouse carried them kicking and screaming out to the car while I finished checking out and by the time I got there they were buckled in their car seat, completely calm and composed, like a switch flipped. (As far as I know) it wasn’t any sort of punishment or shining moment of parenting, the kid just decided, I’m done now.
And they haven’t thrown a fit since.
How old was your kid at the time ? You are giving us hope, we need to know!
29 😅
Yeah kids. Cannot throw them away, cannot kill’em. Or so says the “law” apparently.
My son fought me getting in the high chair in a restaurant yesterday. Wife had to hold him while I held his legs straight to get in. I feel that
How TF are they so strong!? I also noticed a difference in physical strength between boys and girls - while expected I did not anticipate it being so much different. I really have to use a muscle on my son sometimes and he’s not even 2 yo.
Same for kids and pets… They’re not really strong, it’s just that:
-
You’re trying not to hurt them or yourself, they don’t really care. This really levels the playing field.
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You’re trying to accomplish a goal, they’re trying to do anything but that.this gives them a huge advantage.
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I don’t know why, but “stealing him” is such a funny way of saying that.
How would you call dissapropriating someones children for recreational or other purposes?
Kidnap?
Yes they do.
They are not supposed to scream during the process, it actually signals the end of it.
Unless you are wearing a hi vis vest, I hear. Then they let you walk right on by.
You should probably file a complaint about the person in the meme with the league of professional kidnappers.
Or the start, sometimes the middle …
It’s funny because children aren’t people. Or something…
It’s just funny to use the word that means a different thing but close
I’m not shoplifting this child.
Or alternatively,
I’m not kidnapping this money/these goods/etc
I don’t think the apple falls very far from the tree
Found the childless one who knows better. Always at least one of you.
Hard to tell from so little info. You can make a kid act like that by being a shitty parent, but they can also have issues unbidden that stretch you past your breaking point.
In any case, they don’t seem to have a healthy relationship.
10:1 odds that neither of you currently have a toddler.
Nah, that’s a fools bet lol.
Sounds like you’re an AI.
No, I counted their fingers and they’re clean
More than I can say of my own fingers, to be fair.
You have shit judgment?
I was just following instructions …
edit: Though I will admit you’re not wrong about my judgement.
I’ve had two, go fish.
had
They took the toddlers back to the stork.
If I was going to take a kid from a stork, you think I’d take THIS one?
Yeah, one is a teen now and the other is almost there. We have solid relationships and I’ve managed not to call them assholes when they’re acting up. Is there a point you’re trying to make?
Yes, there is a point I’m trying to make, which is it’s intrinsic to the human condition to paint a much rosier version of your own childrearing experiences once they’re historical.
The internet is awash with new parents wildly frustrated with how incredibly out-of-touch the platitudes they hear about their experience even coming from other older parents.
Your original comment is just that. Judgemental and out of touch. You can make a kid act like that? A screaming toddler? There will certainly be times when nothing you can do within the laws of physics can PREVENT them from acting like that. My toddler threw a hysterical fit because the garage door can’t be SIMULTANEOUSLY open AND closed. No, son, I know you believe Daddy can do anything but quantum super positions are even out of my hands.
Should the guy have called his kid an asshole? No.
How harshly should you judge them for it? In that moment? Probably not very.
Nice, see that that’s much better than a one-word snark. We can open a dialog.
I’d say that after raising two, and the youngest only being a handful of years since todler-dom, (and my eldest having spectrum issues), I still feel the pain and confusion, and we even had to seek professional help for the eldest. I’ve actually had training of how to deal with the situations for a child that had real emotional problems.
Judgemental and out of touch.
Yet there you are judging me, betting I don’t have kids, then moving the posts to I don’t have young kids right now.
Let’s disassemble my post:
Hard to tell from so little info.
It’s literally one person’s memory about a guy carrying a toddler throwing a full-on fit through a parking lot. Zero context. But you don’t generally carry them distance while they’re throwing the fit, you remove them from the situation, get them someplace quiet and work with them. 9:10 times they’re just tired and you can calm them and not carry them while they’re screaming enough that you’re scared someone is going to call the authorities.
You can make a kid act like that by being a shitty parent, but they can also have issues unbidden that stretch you past your breaking point.
I didn’t lay blame at the guys feet, I said he might have been stretched thin. That’s not really out of touch by my standards.
In any case, they don’t seem to have a healthy relationship.
If you’re calling your toddler an asshole in public to other strangers, whom you’re worried about the impression they have, that’s clearly not healthy. You can call that judgmental if you’d like, but I can also give you the number of a doctor who will tell you the same.
Now, let’s disassemble your post:
Yes, there is a point I’m trying to make, which is it’s intrinsic to the human condition to paint a much rosier version of your own childrearing experiences once they’re historical.
That’s a great goalpost move. You can disagree with me all you want, but this take is just bad out of context.
The internet is awash with new parents wildly frustrated with how incredibly out-of-touch the platitudes they hear about their experience even coming from other older parents.
Yes, new parents are wildly frustrated that someone tells them what they’re doing is wrong because it seems like a personal attack. It’s not. They survived and are offering how they did it, maybe the advice applies, maybe it doesn’t, everyone situation is different.
Your original comment is just that. Judgemental and out of touch.
If you’re going to call every parent who doesn’t have a 2-3 year-old out of touch, that’s another hot take. If everyone around you is out of touch, it may not be them that is the problem.
You can make a kid act like that? A screaming toddler? There will certainly be times when nothing you can do within the laws of physics can PREVENT them from acting like that. My toddler threw a hysterical fit because the garage door can’t be SIMULTANEOUSLY open AND closed. No, son, I know you believe Daddy can do anything but quantum super positions are even out of my hands.
Screeming all the way across a parking lot? To the point where you have to excuse yourself to others by calling the kid an asshole? within the laws of physics? My toddler threw a hysterical fit because the garage door can’t be SIMULTANEOUSLY open AND closed.
The prime difference here is that you didn’t have to persuade strangers that you were’t stealing the child and call the child an asshole because they were upset about a nonsensical thing. You also didn’t ignore them and carry them through a public place. The scene wasn’t so large than one random person felt the need to do a write up on social media. That’s pretty much the hallmark that the person isn’t handling the situation nominally.
Should the guy have called his kid an asshole? No.
I was defending the guy when someone else said the apple didn’t fall from the tree.
How harshly should you judge them for it? In that moment? Probably not very.
Now look in the mirror and tell yourself.
My kid just had a screaming fit with big fat tears rolling down his face because he reached the bottom of the stairs. The other day, he was howling crying because I had a different colored bowl than he did. I have indeed had to carry my kid out of a public space to go calm down. I do my best to be calm and empathetic to him but emotional regulation is something they grow into.
That’s the best you can do. Upset is normal. Throwing things is normal.
Kicking, punching and violence to the point where you have to make excuses that you’re not kidnapping isn’t.
I think that really depends on the kid too. I’ve had one behave like that fairly regularly until he grew out of it; the other will get upset rarely, and never in public.
The post read to me as the dad cracking a dry joke, not actually making an excuse.
to me as the dad cracking a dry joke, not actually making
That’s fair. I’d still get smacked upside my head by my wife, but to each their own :)
That’s fair. I’d still get smacked upside my head by my wife, but to each their own :)
That doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship.
Two concenting adults :) also figurative… but point taken
