They had just turned 4. I remember being really worried because they were starting preschool soon and they were such a demon, I was certain I’d be called on the first day and told they’d been expelled. Now they’re in middle school and charming as anything.

This very much could have been my husband about a decade ago. The last tantrum my middle child ever threw, with lots of screaming and running and destroying things like a fucking tornado in the middle of a Target. Spouse carried them kicking and screaming out to the car while I finished checking out and by the time I got there they were buckled in their car seat, completely calm and composed, like a switch flipped. (As far as I know) it wasn’t any sort of punishment or shining moment of parenting, the kid just decided, I’m done now.

And they haven’t thrown a fit since.

You’re right, I was mislead by other information. My bad.

Good thing we stopped doing it in Panama where the bottleneck could be kept at only a couple kilometers of land and for a fraction of the cost.

I invite you to come shop at my Walmart :) We were one of the first stores in the country to get those little electronic price tags, so you can’t say with any certainty what the price of anything is, anymore.

If the vegetables haven’t already gone bad on the shelves, they will within a day at your place, and make sure to check the expiration date on every single package you pick up, because they’re often past gone. Also, don’t trust the frozen foods, they defrost in the trucks and on open pallets in the middle of the aisles.

I used to work at a zoo. When you introduce a new animal to an exhibit, you soap the window so they don’t hurt themselves in their confusion. Just… Take a bar of soap and fog up the window with it.

Probably smells a lot better too.