Can’t believe we lost Quizno’s but Subway is still kicking.

Waste money sending out checks worth nothing. Nice. 🤦‍♂️

Why would anyone pay for just a concept?

I thought that said teleportation and I was like “how does that help something learn?”

I have a feeling the alarm you’re talking about is a temperature alarm, not for the door. It’s just that leaving the door open will raise the temperature eventually.

Well yeah… How else would we get rid of our natural enemy, the earthworm?

ChristAI can miraculously turn anything into shit. 🙏

Adastra.

Well yeah. There’s air in there.

I guess if I want a romantic csrriage ride through Prague now, I’ll have to hire someone running a rickshaw. 😞

I have done this just to preserve a thing in its current state because it looked like the main developer was gonna do something stupid and/or fuck it up.

You were 1km away from the limit. 😌

I both do and do not want to be alone. I really just need someone who can be there for me… between the hours of 6pm to 6am. Outside of those hours leave me the hell alone!

This headline sounds like the short description of a random ass made for TV horror movie.

I don’t own them, go wild.

$200 for a bear is a steal of a price.

Dr. Bronner’s mint soap can give the same effect, but for your entire body. Bonus: you don’t even need another person.

I’m sure it’s just a software thing, because even with the flavor mix-ins, they didn’t give you every possible combination at any I’ve personally used.

Click Coke, you get Coke, Diet Coke, Coke Zero, and then, like, Vanilla, Cherry, Lemon, Lime, etc flavors. Click Sprite and now the only flavor options are Orange and Cherry. Why the hell can I not have vanilla sprite? Why are all the other soda options not also a mix-in flavor option? Make it make sense!

Ideally, I should be able to light up every single option at once and have the ultimate blend of HFCS possible with just one go at the machine.

School bus don’t go where they live, 16 miles outside of town, in the sticks where you wouldn’t go.

How the fuck do you make a suicide with the cloaca?