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InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.worldEnglish · 2 months ago

John 14:6

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John 14:6

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InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.worldEnglish · 2 months ago
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Please open your song books to the song of invitation God Bless All The Universe

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  • Snot Flickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    2 months ago

    Jesus’ mum was this woman, the Virgin Mary, who one night got visited by an angel and told she’d been gotten pregnant by a Holy Ghost. Of course, actual ghosts jizz ectoplasm which only contains ghost sperm, but Jesus wasn’t born a phantom, leading experts to believe Mary wasn’t impregnated by a real ghost, but by a man in a sheet like in Scooby-Doo.

    -Philomena Cunk

    • 𞋴𝛂𝛋𝛆@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      Bibs never said Hose F. checked the hymen. If the merry story was straight, this plot hole would be closed. Old Hosed F. wore a red uniform on TNG

      • Cort@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        Was this text to speech? Either way, upvoting for old hosed F

        • 𞋴𝛂𝛋𝛆@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          It was joking around; intentional

    • fossphi@lemm.ee
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      2 months ago

      Excellent hyperlink manners!

  • alaphic@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    What are you doing step spirirt

    • jaybone@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      My tunic hath become lodged in ye ol’ washboard.

    • M137@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      “spirirt”

      What.

      • Venator@lemmy.nz
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        2 months ago

        It’s his voice trembling.

  • rc__buggy@sh.itjust.works
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    2 months ago

    You must feel Jesus enter you.

    • i_dont_want_to@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      2 months ago

      I’m so full of the spirit, I think I’m about to burst.

      • gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works
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        2 months ago

        Hey wait a minute, I thought Santa was supposed to to come, not Jesus

        • i_dont_want_to@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          2 months ago

          Santa only comes once a year, but the Lord comes for me whenever I need him.

          • gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works
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            2 months ago

            No, wait, hold on, that’s just your priest

            • ivanafterall ☑️@lemmy.world
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              2 months ago

              Anyway, both of them leave kids’ rooms with an empty sack.

    • InternetCitizen2@lemmy.worldOP
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      2 months ago

      Another soul saved!

  • saltnotsugar@lemm.ee
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    2 months ago

    And the lord did nut, for it was not November. Amen.

  • doingthestuff@lemy.lol
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    2 months ago

    I mean technically Christianity believes God’s spirit impregnated Mary.

    • ivanafterall ☑️@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      And the Holy Spirit told Joseph to hide the evidence away from public view, like a proto-Epstein.

      • doingthestuff@lemy.lol
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        2 months ago

        deleted by creator

  • huquad@lemmy.ml
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    2 months ago

    I need to feel you inside me, Jesus

  • swag_money@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    A man 🙏🙏

  • werefreeatlast@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    I had to replace the bag on my spirit can.

  • aeronmelon@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    And the Holy Spirit did come unto the congregation.

  • P1k1e@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    BRUH!

    • InternetCitizen2@lemmy.worldOP
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      2 months ago

      For real, no one has even clicked the link!!

      • xorollo@leminal.space
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        2 months ago

        “sign in to confirm you’re not a bot” sorry, I’m a bot

  • LuxSpark@lemmy.cafe
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    2 months ago

    Skeet Jesus!

    • Snot Flickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      2 months ago

      Relevant

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