My ADHD brain does this. It runs wild, the moment I’m awake.
Brain wakes up for an update.
You gotta disable the scheduled task or it’ll keep pulling you out of sleep mode.
Gibe yourself some time to think during the day
Maybe being sentient is about saying no all the time: You are a sack of water made out of carbon and it always wants to simply fall but you have keep saying “no, we stand”, “no, we tilt slightly forward” (walk) etc.
At night, when there’s nothing to do and you’ve already lost your battle against gravity (a comfy bed), maybe the helpful naysayer starts generating bullshit?
Good reminder actually
This is most of why I’ve installed any “smart” devices in my house. If I’m up at 4am with anxiety, I can check most things that inspire it for me (are my door locks engaged, can my cameras see anything concerning, is my young kid in bed and breathing, etc.) without getting up. Some of those I can even rectify remotely; for example, I can lock my doors through the app if someone forgot to.
As a result, I’ve developed a new thing about which to worry: what have I forgotten to check?
developed a new thing about which to worry: what have I forgotten to check?
Well you can make rules so that you can automatically rectify things without having to even check.
Then… you can worry about things you haven’t automated properly!
See, that’s exactly right.
For example, at the moment the door to my garage - which has one of the smart locks I mentioned - doesn’t always latch properly. Especially when closed by a distracted five-year-old. The lock will usually mark itself “jammed” if it can’t find the proper landing place, but it won’t always. So, until fixing the door, I can’t trust it even if I automate it. (For this one I installed a camera in my garage so that I can at least make sure the garage doors are closed; we live in a safe area so that’s enough to satisfy me for the time being.)
Another issue is that we have - I believe - eight external doors. I don’t want to maintain the batteries for eight external locks (the ones I have use four AA each), so I can’t be certain all of them are locked without checking.
We only use three with any frequency, though, so I installed smart locks on two of them and make sure to check the third and at least glance at the others every night on my way to bed (The dumb one is one I consider fairly protected, as it’s in my back yard, and also it’s immediately below where I sleep, so it doesn’t worry me too much.)
But yeah. Routine and automation are my thing. I’m still working on it in this house, though.
Thanks!
As a result, I’ve developed a new thing about which to worry: what have I forgotten to check?
Yeah that tends to happen when we nurture unhealthy thoughts
No doubt!
I hope that didn’t sound too judgemental. I can’t imagine the pressure of dealing with that kind of anxiety plus the responsibility of a child. Sometimes we lose focus of what’s in front of us over what’s in our head when it should be the other way around.
Judgemental or not, you’re not wrong. Enabling one’s anxiety will not reduce said anxiety. I knew that when I set everything up and I think about it every time I check.
But I’m physically limited (not disabled, just enough to make things harder) and my general concern about the state of my home isn’t going away, so being able to check things without getting up is an immediate comfort that sometimes lets me get back to sleep more easily, even if long term it’s damaging to my psyche.
Thank you for the apology, though it was unneeded, and the empathy.
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I’m reading this at 5am after I woke up at 4 for seemingly no reason.
