Every time I walk into my local Giant I see this fancy pants jack the ripper ted bundy asshole looking at me with that smug stupid smile peddling his disgusting wheat discs like he expects me to buy them. No bitch I’m getting PUMPERNICKEL.
Look at Mr Darcyshire here, dressing above his station. He’s adorned like a gentleman about to take a ride on one of his stallions, but given that he’s holding a tray with bagels on it, he’s clearly a footman from downstairs. Is this fancy dress? Some remnant medieval festival kept alive by the local Duke that allows for lessers to don the costume of their betters for a day? I dare say, this man is risking the upending of the God-ordained social hierarchy and liable to induce chaos in the country. Perhaps the cities, with their more lenient morality, can abide such broaching of etiquette and class. But no country gentleman would ferry a tray of pre-packaged bagels and no footman with any sort of conscience would make a mockery of the aristocracy that provides his bread and board.
harumphing and monocle adjusting continues
big up pumpernickel
You will eat your bagels and you will like them, lest he disinvite you from the ball in a polite but subtly condescending way.
I do all of the grocery shopping in my family and I have never seen that man in my life. So interesting the individual little bubbles and microcosms we all live in
Yeah, fuck Thomas Bagels!
not Thomas is pronunced Thomas
