even if its just one goal or dream that you achived and such, how did you do it and how did iy make you feel?
im honestly struggling to achive things i want becasue i tend to dream big so how did you all do it?
Just pure dumb luck. Being in the right place at the right time. I guess if there’s any takeaway from that, it’s just to stay attentive and stay open. You never know when the thing that’s going to change your life is going to arrive.
Well, I just worked my ass off. Now, I can buy as much candy as I could ever want.
Unfortunately, I’ve lost the taste for it, and it’s no longer as appealing as it was when I was 5.
Dream achieved?
I guess you achieved your dream, that is pretty good.
I had 1 goal. 7y ago I tried to buy an express ticket to thoughts and prayers but the gun jammed. Good thing too, .22 HP probably would’ve only blown my face off. Made a deal with myself, get better within 7y or try again. I’m back in the gym, doing therapy, finished my degree, and getting to know myself better. Still between jobs but… Hey, can’t have everything. Trying to emigrate but that’s a bit beyond the horizon atm. That’s the next goal.
Dude, I’m glad you’re here.
Thanks! There’s still dark days but I’ve learnt healthy ways to deal.
Step one is to actually figure out what you want. Too many people spend their whole lives chasing after something they think they are supposed to want, and end up further from happiness every day.
Sure, there was hard work. A lot of time spent getting good at what I do, studying, and what not. But I’m going to be blunt: it was a lot of luck. Anyone who says otherwise is probably lacking insight.
Luck in having the circumstances where I was able to focus enough efforts and have the energy to do so. Luck in encountering the right opportunity and people along the way.
Not trying to downplay effort, but a lot of comments make it seem like all you have to do is work hard and you’ll get rewarded. Sometimes you totally will. And other times you’ll crash and burn or be taken advantage of.
I have very a simple dream, which is, being happy, after idfk years i finally got it, i just needed to open up, and tell some bad jokes. Guess it’s just luck
A mix of extreme luck, hard work to put myself in a situation where I could get extremely lucky, and lowering my expectations. College (almost died from stress several times) -> job at shitty company with no money and had to pay me in stock -> company gets huge -> company sells for a fuck ton of money -> move to a much cheaper area, 2000 miles away from all my family and friends -> buy a house.
My dream has always been a family. Raising children is hard as hell and often thankless, but I have 3 adult children and 3 grandkids now. I feel like it’s my greatest achievement.
It took years of effort and work, but it was worth every second.
I seem to have achieved the nightmare. Need a mulligan, NGL.
Hang in there! It will get better I promise
Thanks. I’m not going anywhere, too curious to see where this Black Mirror episode of a life goes next.
One of my favorite baseball players, Shohei Ohtani, has an insane goal listing. He breaks down his goals into seperate steps and individual actions he can take to achieve those elements.
Now he’s an absolute freak and one of the most accomplished humans on the planet but learning about how he thinks is interesting and I think we can all take something from this.
He definitely dreams big! And hasn’t accomplished everything on his goal list.
https://hirokiga.medium.com/the-shohei-ohtani-goal-matrix-df454b5b1482
That’s really cool.
That’s basically a tree structure he’s got there.
Another app I’ve used to make my goal into a tree of subgoals and subgoals and subgoals, is workflowy.
It’s just an infinitely nestable bullet list. Usable for anything you want, including goal planning.
You can just write a goal, then break it down into subgoals. If those are still too big you can put more nodes under each node to break it down.
Kinda hard to describe but you can just keep splitting things into smaller pieces until the pieces are bite sized.
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I used to be a lazy slob. Until one day I realized I hated my job and would rather die than continue. So I set a goal, went back to school (parttime, because you need an income always). It was such a hectic time, I didn’t get to spent any time with my wife and kids, but after a year and a half I got a job at the college I was studying. Now they pay for my bachelor and I even get time to study during working hours. It feels like I have so much free time now that I started a duolingo course and an online programming course out of boredom. The lazy slob I used to be, would’ve definitely celebrated the free time with couch time, but I guess I’ve developed a taste for studying now. I barely recognize myself sometimes and it makes me both scared and proud.
It’s not much, but my dream has been to have an apartment and consistent income at the same time.
I’m 40 and I’m about to achieve it.
I honestly can even remember my other dreams except in the faintest of washed out images.
Joining a men’s group helped. Working through trauma has freed up a lot of my mental resources. I can work more, I’m less prone to escape into drugs, junk food, whatever. I’m able to recognize my feelings and hence can make decisions easily instead of always having to think them through.
I’m a little envious of those who had this stability in their twenties — a place of their own, that they can organize however they like and be alone whenever they want, plus money to furnish it and not worry about bills going unpaid. But mostly I’ve learned not to compare because it’s so damned painful and unproductive.
I’d say fundamentally the way I achieved it was by learning to take baby steps. A year ago I was homeless. I got a job washing cars. Now I’m a kitchen designer and I’m about to get my own apartment.
I wish I had this kind of mental health twenty years ago. But I’m glad I didn’t go another twenty years without attaining it.
Hard work supplemented by a tremendous amount of luck and privilege
I got a super-cool first job because my mother happened to be jabbering about me to a guy who thought it’d be neat to have an intern. Note that this wasn’t some rich-folks club cotillion, she was a part time dental hygienist making small talk during a cleaning.
Edit (the first line of my post disappeared:)
“Luck is the most important factor in success; more than hard work, more than money.”
Sounds like you’re pretty lucky?
Oops - my first sentence go stripped on the post; I edited to add it back. Yes, luck is the most important quality.
I lowered my expectations.
