I moved in with a domestic couple several years back, my best friend and his partner. Their relationship was super toxic, I’m glad they split and I helped set my friend up with the love of his life. I was friends with his partner too, but their relationship was pure shit.
She was a mom and didn’t earn much wages, she was a part time photographer. My friend had a shitty, difficult mechanic job, and would be exhausted when he got home. I was a single dad, and spent part of my week with my kids at our old house while my ex would leave to stay with her new boyfriend.
Huge piles of dishes would build up, and my friend and his partner would argue about them. She’d say, why don’t you ever do the dishes? He’d say, you’re home all day why don’t you do them? Just the most petty toxic shit that probably wasnt actually about the dishes.
I have a personal policy of never getting emotional about kitchen chores. If I came home from work and there were dishes, I would just do them. Often the partner would come in while I’m doing dishes and be like, “what are you doing??” Like fuming with anger. I’d just kind of ignore her irritation and say, “the dishes.” I think she took it like I was judging her for not doing dishes or something, but I could always just repeat my personal policy. I mean I was also cooking and making dishes myself, I really didn’t see the problem.
It happened so much, it was kinda funny getting a rise out of her for just trying to be helpful, but good lawd it was always such an ordeal
Your 3rd paragraph, I’m on your friend’s side. If there’s someone home all day, with no job, they oughta do the dishes. Wait, no, I just remembered my true stance on all household chores: if you make a mess, clean it up. Nobody in a house should be washing dishes that someone else sullied. Everybody does their own damn dishes!
I’m kinda like that with chores. If I say I’ll do them, I’ll do them but I often have hard time forcing myself and ifnsomeone decides to simply do them themselves, I feel pissed off, as if that person told me I am worthless and looked at me with disdain even if I am logically aware that such person just is like that - they have time or even simply feel like doing it so they do.
I learned to control my reaction but yeah, maybe the partner was like that without control.
Yeah it was kinda quirky but we were still friends. It was kinda funny watching her stand there visibly cycling through various negative emotions but trying so hard not to show it
I moved in with a domestic couple several years back, my best friend and his partner. Their relationship was super toxic, I’m glad they split and I helped set my friend up with the love of his life. I was friends with his partner too, but their relationship was pure shit.
She was a mom and didn’t earn much wages, she was a part time photographer. My friend had a shitty, difficult mechanic job, and would be exhausted when he got home. I was a single dad, and spent part of my week with my kids at our old house while my ex would leave to stay with her new boyfriend.
Huge piles of dishes would build up, and my friend and his partner would argue about them. She’d say, why don’t you ever do the dishes? He’d say, you’re home all day why don’t you do them? Just the most petty toxic shit that probably wasnt actually about the dishes.
I have a personal policy of never getting emotional about kitchen chores. If I came home from work and there were dishes, I would just do them. Often the partner would come in while I’m doing dishes and be like, “what are you doing??” Like fuming with anger. I’d just kind of ignore her irritation and say, “the dishes.” I think she took it like I was judging her for not doing dishes or something, but I could always just repeat my personal policy. I mean I was also cooking and making dishes myself, I really didn’t see the problem.
It happened so much, it was kinda funny getting a rise out of her for just trying to be helpful, but good lawd it was always such an ordeal
Your 3rd paragraph, I’m on your friend’s side. If there’s someone home all day, with no job, they oughta do the dishes. Wait, no, I just remembered my true stance on all household chores: if you make a mess, clean it up. Nobody in a house should be washing dishes that someone else sullied. Everybody does their own damn dishes!
I’m kinda like that with chores. If I say I’ll do them, I’ll do them but I often have hard time forcing myself and ifnsomeone decides to simply do them themselves, I feel pissed off, as if that person told me I am worthless and looked at me with disdain even if I am logically aware that such person just is like that - they have time or even simply feel like doing it so they do.
I learned to control my reaction but yeah, maybe the partner was like that without control.
Yeah it was kinda quirky but we were still friends. It was kinda funny watching her stand there visibly cycling through various negative emotions but trying so hard not to show it