I have a question for those who’ve had people with dementia around. My very beautiful old friend has been moved into full nursing home which is what she needs but I saw her yesterday and she is a bit confused about why she is moved, and she is sad and bored. She can no longer read, she now struggles to use the phone, she watches the news on the telly but doesn’t have the interest in anything else, and she has a walker to get around but in a new place doesn’t know many people and doesn’t know the floorplan etc.
She’s bored. She has family visitors and stuff but it’s so long stuck in a room. I hung a couple of photos up that remind her of special things but is there anything I can do or suggest to local family to help keep her occupied during the day? She’s at that sad sad place where she’s lost her ability to do things before the desire. I am at a loss and I live too far away to visit more than once every few months.
Sorry for the wall of text I think I needed to get that out. Any ideas??
Also I don’t know what stage she’s at or what her capabilities are so I’m really sorry if I suggest something that is way too basic or for people who are in more advanced stages…
But I heard some people with dementia benefit from a fiddle mat or blanket, it’s this thing with attachments to twiddle and zips or huge buttons. It’s something to just play with that might help self soothe and occupy her a bit.
A really nice soft toy to hold might be comforting too.
It sucks to be in a strange lonely place and confused about why. I’m glad you’re here for her.
This really sucks for her… I can well relate to the loss of ability to do activities before the desire. And a lot of easy activities can feel patronising or boring.
Would she have any interest in scrapbooking or collage? Watercolours? Does her facility have any art sessions or activities to help residents mix?
She might not be interested in anything other than the news but wondering if documentaries might help.
I’m not sure if you’ve stumbled across Teepa Snow but she’s a multi-decade occupational therapist and dementia educator. If you search “bored” on her YouTube at least three of those videos talk about helping with boredom. All of her stuff is amazing though and targeted at the person or people caring for the person with dementia.
I haven’t had any experience with people with the more advanced situation your friend has (mum was just starting to show signs when she passed away). But perhaps those schemes where people get visits from volunteers to have a cuppa and a chat might help pass the time?
I’m so sorry, it’s such a difficult thing to navigate, both for the person and their loved ones. My dad and uncle experienced this and it was really hard.
If your friend likes reading, could she access recorded stories? Is there someone who can take her to church if she’d like to do that?
I think just visiting when you can, and maybe taking her for a walk (if possible) or drive, if that’s an option. Just so she gets out & about a bit. Could you talk to her on the phone, too? That might help her feel more connected.
I’m sorry 😔 my dad has early onset Alzheimer’s and it’s hard. He likes to do what he’s always liked to do, tinker with things in the shed, woodwork type of stuff, fixing up surfboards, and he’s still able to at this point, even if he ends up repeating steps a few times. He likes nature docos and YouTube surf videos. All stuff he’s been into in the past. He likes hanging out with his mates who are sweethearts and keep him in line. Sounds like your friend is more advanced then my dad and I don’t have experience with that, but soon will. I just wanted to share the little I know.
Are there any old hobbies your friend has that maybe she fell out of the habit of? I don’t know, knitting, drawing, colouring in? Or if she enjoyed birds or wildlife maybe some picture heavy books about that stuff?
Hugs. Yes that friend support is critical. And just self care help. Yesterday I just sat and talked and clipped her nails and lots of hugs. My friend is a nun so much or her life revolved around community and study and at least there are still lots of people helping and advocating for her now.
She did lots of crafts like embroidery and sewing but long way past it now. I like the idea of photo books and I just found a one button music player for old folk. I am going to get that and load it up with classical music which is another love (she was a piano and music teacher for 50 years). Thanks
What surprises me w/ my ol’ girl (different sort of dementia though) is chuck her in front of piano and away she goes (she was a muso). Maybe a keyboard?
Brains are such complex things. I once looked after a lady who lost her speech because of a massive stroke. Put some ABBA on and listen to her sing, word and pitch perfect though!
I have a question for those who’ve had people with dementia around. My very beautiful old friend has been moved into full nursing home which is what she needs but I saw her yesterday and she is a bit confused about why she is moved, and she is sad and bored. She can no longer read, she now struggles to use the phone, she watches the news on the telly but doesn’t have the interest in anything else, and she has a walker to get around but in a new place doesn’t know many people and doesn’t know the floorplan etc.
She’s bored. She has family visitors and stuff but it’s so long stuck in a room. I hung a couple of photos up that remind her of special things but is there anything I can do or suggest to local family to help keep her occupied during the day? She’s at that sad sad place where she’s lost her ability to do things before the desire. I am at a loss and I live too far away to visit more than once every few months.
Sorry for the wall of text I think I needed to get that out. Any ideas??
Also I don’t know what stage she’s at or what her capabilities are so I’m really sorry if I suggest something that is way too basic or for people who are in more advanced stages…
But I heard some people with dementia benefit from a fiddle mat or blanket, it’s this thing with attachments to twiddle and zips or huge buttons. It’s something to just play with that might help self soothe and occupy her a bit.
A really nice soft toy to hold might be comforting too.
It sucks to be in a strange lonely place and confused about why. I’m glad you’re here for her.
Thanks that’s a nice idea
This really sucks for her… I can well relate to the loss of ability to do activities before the desire. And a lot of easy activities can feel patronising or boring.
Would she have any interest in scrapbooking or collage? Watercolours? Does her facility have any art sessions or activities to help residents mix?
She might not be interested in anything other than the news but wondering if documentaries might help.
that’s why I suggested podcasts, they can be interesting
I’m not sure if you’ve stumbled across Teepa Snow but she’s a multi-decade occupational therapist and dementia educator. If you search “bored” on her YouTube at least three of those videos talk about helping with boredom. All of her stuff is amazing though and targeted at the person or people caring for the person with dementia.
Oh thanks I will take a look
I haven’t had any experience with people with the more advanced situation your friend has (mum was just starting to show signs when she passed away). But perhaps those schemes where people get visits from volunteers to have a cuppa and a chat might help pass the time?
I’m so sorry, it’s such a difficult thing to navigate, both for the person and their loved ones. My dad and uncle experienced this and it was really hard.
If your friend likes reading, could she access recorded stories? Is there someone who can take her to church if she’d like to do that?
I think just visiting when you can, and maybe taking her for a walk (if possible) or drive, if that’s an option. Just so she gets out & about a bit. Could you talk to her on the phone, too? That might help her feel more connected.
I’m sorry 😔 my dad has early onset Alzheimer’s and it’s hard. He likes to do what he’s always liked to do, tinker with things in the shed, woodwork type of stuff, fixing up surfboards, and he’s still able to at this point, even if he ends up repeating steps a few times. He likes nature docos and YouTube surf videos. All stuff he’s been into in the past. He likes hanging out with his mates who are sweethearts and keep him in line. Sounds like your friend is more advanced then my dad and I don’t have experience with that, but soon will. I just wanted to share the little I know.
Are there any old hobbies your friend has that maybe she fell out of the habit of? I don’t know, knitting, drawing, colouring in? Or if she enjoyed birds or wildlife maybe some picture heavy books about that stuff?
Hugs. Yes that friend support is critical. And just self care help. Yesterday I just sat and talked and clipped her nails and lots of hugs. My friend is a nun so much or her life revolved around community and study and at least there are still lots of people helping and advocating for her now.
She did lots of crafts like embroidery and sewing but long way past it now. I like the idea of photo books and I just found a one button music player for old folk. I am going to get that and load it up with classical music which is another love (she was a piano and music teacher for 50 years). Thanks
So sorry to hear that about your friend.
What surprises me w/ my ol’ girl (different sort of dementia though) is chuck her in front of piano and away she goes (she was a muso). Maybe a keyboard?
Brains are such complex things. I once looked after a lady who lost her speech because of a massive stroke. Put some ABBA on and listen to her sing, word and pitch perfect though!
Are there any crafts she can do?
Lego?
Jigsaws?
Podcasts?
Not anymore but see my response to Force. And thanks
So sorry, I was trying to think of activities that are easy but can be interesting too,
I appreciate it. It’s a really hard stage