Sadly based on a true story; this is a literal shit-post
Nearly bled out from hemorrhoids, got the surgery, and as a Vietnam vet I heard say, “It was worse than anything that happened to me over there.” Never been to war, but the pain was the worst in my long life of broken bones and whatnot.
Now I take a coffee cup shot of psyllium husk of an evening. My shit literally doesn’t stink and wiping is almost optional. Also provides an impetus to get my ass out of bed in the morning.
Brain: “Just a little longer…”
Bowels: “NOW!”
Weirdly, I got my wife a bidet when she first moved in, never touched it. She won’t go near the other bathroom lacking one. Not once in 3-years has it occurred to me to try it. Old habits die hard I suppose.
Wash your hands before posting
“I should probably wash that hand twice”
This post was brought to you by bidet gang
Oh Japan, how I miss you…
Dont you hate it
I mean, I don’t love it.
<laughs in bidet>
It often happens to me that… the topography of the area is what causes the ripping…
How rough is your ass?! I’m imagining Antarctic hikers probing for dangerous crevasses. “Close one guys! Stay to the left!”
Moist Flushable Wipes…or a garden hose.
No moist wipes are ever flushable.
Nope. They get screened out by a trash filter at the sewage treatment plant and then find their way into the landfill. Unfortunately, they frequently fail to make it to the plant and cause some nasty clogs.
If you have a septic tank in your back yard like I do, then you’re just playing a $25,000 game of Russian roulette.
It does not matter how big it says so on the package. “Flushable” wipes are NOT flushable.
