The one guy just walks around all day carrying a big-ass rock everywhere he goes? I think he could probably take the other two in a fight, then

From what I’m told, it stares back. So, probably a good time if you’re an exhibitionist, I guess.

At my job, I quite often see “Monday, Wednesday, Friday” abbreviated to MWF.

I read it in the voice once. It has proven to be the gift that never stopped giving.

It’s just an unending cycle of collecting rings and then losing them all when something comes out of nowhere and knocks you on your ass.

Now that I think about it, making them rings was kind of a heavy-handed choice…

If her friends don’t cum- and if they don’t cum- well they’re no friends of mine

Ween is a giant circle around the entire graph that’s too large to be depicted here

I don’t know why, but I really love the idea of representing Millenials as Shrek and Gen Z as Donkey, and that’s how I’m gonna see us from now on.

You guys have fun fuckin’ that dragon. I’m gonna go angrily bathe in my filth pool. ❤️

Nah, these aren’t dongs. They’re definitely uteran, in honor of Women’s History Month!

Pretty sure this is the cover of an unreleased Primus album

Don’t ever, for any reason, do anything

Abridged version

When I was a teenager, the discussion was always “would you survive the first wave,” and my friends and I were never sure if we would or not. We didn’t realize the bar for that was whether or not you would run towards the zombies…

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So THAT’S what the psychs meant when they said I was living in a state of mental illness…

Right? And they don’t even explain toilet paper at the end. Big disappointment for people who’d want to know

Trying to remember whether I named the most recent copy of my resume shitstink.pdf or hellpiss.pdf

I think I’d wanna get this for the Mountain Dew-themed PC build I didn’t know I wanted to do until right this very moment.

Honestly, if you already have it set up to automate printing the screen and saving it as an image, then seamlessly syncing that file with your phone, I don’t even think you need to worry about making an app or dealing with the phone camera. If you can set that process to trigger on a single button press, that’d be wayyy faster and easier.

And look- people can pull off the skinny elf look but they can’t pull off Orlando Bloom.

Hell, I’ve tried to do both. All it got me were some pants I can’t return and a restraining order. C’est la vie, I guess.

Chocolate Eclair. Nice texture. Really scrapes the sides clean.

What the fuck? These assholes stole my catchphrase