Wait, that was season 7? The sponge was discontinued in 1994. Seinfeld debuted I think in 1990. That means the sponge episode was 3 years after the discontinuement of the sponge!

Oh, look at mr fancy pants! With his “air” he can afford to fry! Must be nice to afford all that air…

With RFKjr in charge of health and human services, is this even satire? Or is it a spoiler?

Without context, I honestly thought this reply was in reference to my comment abput red lobster having unlimited popcorn shrimp.

You think Americans will think? We have wildly different predictions for how that scenario plays out.

Wait…you think the vast majority of trump voters are wealthy?

Uhhhhhh…I don’t even know how to respond to that without feeling like I’m talking down to you.

This please! Disband ICE!

Heck me??? Fudge to you!

A cop? Lying? I don’t think thats legal. And cops are there to enforce the law…therefore, cops good. Right?

…guys?

Oh come on. It’s my first day on earth, and I’m not yet capable of critical thinking. Therefore, I can only say opinions based on nothing, and argue them as fact. If you argue back, I’ll argue louder! Because as we all know, the loudest opinion is right! And who’s louder than me? I’m an American! We’re known for our being the only place on earth. And therefore everybody is right! Except for the people who argue with me. They’re clearly wrong.

TOAST IS BETTER THAN BREAD!!!

Sooooooooo…Dolly Parton has a 50/50 chance.

Fuck life!

Most people buy a new cell phone long before the charger stops working.

I’m weird. I’ve had my cell phone since 2020. But MOST people buy one every 2-3 years. Just because the newest latest and greatest just came out.

My 5 year old phone still has no issue charging. And when the battery starts dying, MY battery is user replaceable.

What the hell are geese eating? God damn!!! Just honking and shitting EVERYWHERE!!!

Ummmmmmm…I will pay all the money in my bank account for that light saber knife!

That’s right…a whole $20!

…I’m not having a good time financially, alright?

People seemingly have forgotten that at one point Vance would say “I never supported trumps policies. I never liked trump as a person. I’m a never trump guy.”

Now, after he lost the campaign, being trumps vp is the best he can do. Suddenly he has no morals. He doesn’t stand behind his words, because NOW it suits him to be a trump guy.

That should tell you everything you need to know.

The knee bone’s connected to the leg bone.

The leg bone’s connected to the hip bone.

The hip bone’s connected to my…wrist watch. Uh-oh.

Just as long as you leave the fry kids alone.

And remember…nothing can kill The Grimace.

Hey there! Hi there! Ho there!

No, seriously. What is this? You post a random picture of a hotel’s pool area. What are we supposed to get from that?

You know…birds are actually very intelligent. And some of them actually are very good at remembering faces.

Crows will even teach their young who they trust, and who to divebomb.

Now you may be thinking that I’m going to say that crows teach their young to poop on your car. But that’s not true. Birds don’t have a spincter. Which means they can’t close their butthole.

Basically if a bird has to poop, there is a 100% chance they are pooping right now. So no. Birds cannot target you with their poop.

What they can do however is refuse to send you an invitation to the social event of the season. The “Going South Gala”. Where we all gather at the park, and engage in random groupings of people to perform oral sex on each other while birds watch and rate our performances. And thats not even to speak of the grandest gathering of the year, The Grand Big Ball. We get 1000 guys, and 2000 girls. The girls group up, two to a guy. One girl on each ball. And they suck and lick, and compete with each other over who’s the BJ queen.

Then the birds all rate the girls. The girl with the lowest score is then divebombed by all the birds until she’s dead. What? You never heard of a murder of crows before? Oh what am I saying? You don’t get to go to The Grand Big Ball!

Silly me!

What about MY sanity???

Can’t sleep clowns will masturbate me…

Can’t sleep clowns will masturbate me…

Can’t sleep clowns will masturbate me…