…now I want to open 10 different calanders at once. In different colors. But only use the pink one. I’ll close the other 9, and grumble “GOD DAMN COMPUTER!!! WHY DON’T THEY FIX THIS SHIT???”

And again…only use the pink one.

grabs popcorn

UFC is over rated.

My first computer was 33htz. Ran Windows 3.1. And Warcraft 2.

So yeah. The perfect computer.

Why do I never understand memes?

Why is Kanye West operating a lie detector test with tubes of science juice?

Ok. Batman Forever introduced Bat Nipples. Two guys. Nipples on full display.

In 1997 I was 13. Huge crush on the girl from Clueless.

So imagine my excitement when I found out that Batman & Robin was coming out. It had even BIGGER more PROMINANT Bat nipples. AND it cast Alicia Silverstone as Bat Girl!!!

Batman had Bat Nipples.

Robin had Bat Nipples.

Batgirl had…WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE NIPPLES??? I’M 13 IN PUBERTY, AND I FULLY EXPECT TO SEE CONSISTANTCY IN MY BATMAN MOVIES WHEN IT COMES TO ALICIA SILVERSTONE AND HER NIPPLES!!!

Now, 28 years later, and I’m fairly sure Alicia Silverstone has never done nudity in any movie.

Same thing with Christina Applegate.

What is it with my teenage crushes keeping their clothes on??? Nowadays, if you even take a private nude selfie, and are famous, hackers somehow release the photos in 10 seconds.

WHY COULDN’T THAT BE TRUE IN THE 90S??? I mean, I guess atbleast we got Drew Barrymore.

Doctors after my scan: “Oh my god! I’ve never seen such an old brain! This man must be 163 years old! He must be under a lot of stress to have aged so much!”

“I’m 41…”

That dreaded taskbar strikes again!

I’d love to have seen his reaction. He either appologized 1000 times and felt stupid, OR he got angry and threatened the IT guy for making him look stupid.

There is no inbetween.

I don’t understand a single thing about this. What is that thing? Why does he have a chefs hat? Why is there a tiny bowl of lettice? Why the name Dennis?

All of this is totally random to me…

WHO downvoted this, and why do you hate amazing things???

Kaley Cuoco has put on some weight since the big bang theory ended.

The part where it was a scam that was dead on arrival.

…I think you’re describing either depression, or masochism.

Out of the loop here. Is this that new trump phone?

"Hey honey, sorry about the late night call. I just wanted to check in to say I love you.

Hey, on an unrelated note, there is an orgy happening in my room. Like 13 people have DEMANDED to suck my dick since I checked in. And so far 3 women have had strapons. You know I can’t last here! You KNOW how easily I submit to strong women with strapons! Ok, love you byeeeeee, mistress chloe is calling from down the hall…"

…oh no.

New phrase just dropped!

The address is the border. No, not the one with the wall. The other one.

Although, they really SHOULD build a wall, to keep all the racist americans out. Make trump pay for it all.

The Onion should start a sister news outlet called “The Moon” that just parodies The Sun.

And the crew said “THANK YOU!!!”

Ian Malcolm? I thought you were fictional!