Code switching is a thing.

I have my professional voice for work emails and meetings and stuff like that. I still joke, but usually it’s the kind of mild humor that can be broadcast on TV no problem. I also avoid self deprecating humor on anything actually related to the job (I can still joke about being a bad dancer or singer or athlete or whatever).

I have my parent voice when dealing with my kids’ schools, doctors, friends’ parents, etc. Most of my jokes here are relatable parent humor.

I have my casual voice when dealing with strangers outside of work: friends of friends, neighbors, etc. I joke but don’t really do anything with politics, religion, sex, profanity, etc.

And as I get to know friends, I have several distinct voices that I use, depending on our connection and their own style. I know whether they’re on my wavelength for political humor, crass/sexual humor, etc. And perhaps most importantly, the style of humor: I’ll make references to specific TV shows I know the other person loved (Simpsons, The Office, Tim Robinson, etc.), other specific interests (sports, programming, food), which style of online meme is popular with the other person, etc.

My wife has seen all of these parts of me. We still exchange funny stuff we find on the internet on our shared interests and style of humor, even if it’s only a subset of all the things we find funny.