Found OP
Cover the entire thing in Molle
- add a red button to fire the nukes
- take the rest of the unlimited budget for expenses.
I’d put the unlimited budget to work miniaturizing a drone fleet powerful enough to maintain position / reliably follow the user thru storm winds that hold a large umbrella-style cover over you.
I never use umbrellas cuz I feel like they’re annoying to carry and you still get wet, but if it just reliably kept me dry with no extra work on my part I’d be more interested.
the song “jesus walks” has to play full volume fron the drone speakers when this happens
Pretty much everything from Johnny English
Kill dissidents https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bulgarian_umbrella
Somehow rain never hits you from the side even when it’s windy or your running really fast.
1
Tactical hand-free design is essential.
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The top part detaches and is a drone.
Unlimited budget? My tactical umbrella is capable of generating 5MW of electricity from cold nuclear fusion.
Then you will need a secondary umbrella for primary, watsr and electricity go boom boom together
Thankfully, being shaped like an umbrella, the design already accounts for this by directing rain away from the power output located at the base of the handle. It’s Type C!
With my unlimited budget, I have also funded research to increase the official USB-C PD spec to a frankly irresponsible five megawatts of energy throughput.
The clearance you need for 1 Megavolt means that you need something like 45ft between your terminals to avoid arcing. I suggest a slightly higher than 5A limit on your new USB spec
This has me cackling thanks
Ok, but can you hold it above your head?
Why wouldn’t they be able to? It’s an umbrella.
To be fair, since it is also a 5MW cold fusion reactor, it is also rather heavy, so one does need to be stronger than the average person. It’s the ONLY downside to this innovative product. It even folds!
I assumed that you wouldn’t ask for an umbrella that you, yourself, would be unable to carry.
Now that just seems a bit unrealistic, doesn’t it? Everyone knows nuclear reactors are quite heavy. Let’s not stoop to silliness.
What are you talking about? I don’t know they are quite heavy, so that means everyone doesn’t.
You’re right, I’m sorry.
My design is flawless otherwise though right??
Found the middle management testing out their interview question about creativity.
I’m gonna stuff that unlimited budget between the fabric layers of mine and take it home with me.
Serves as a shield against small calibre bullets. Is able to accurately fire sniper rounds
Kingsman enjoyer?
I mean I was basically gonna comment the Kingsman umbrella lol. It just makes sense. They got guns, bulletproof, video screens, they’re strong as hell, and don’t they have swords in them too?
Shield from rain
It’s absolutely bananas that this would come up now, because I’m almost finished designing one in FreeCAD lol. Is it in the zeitgeist right now or something? Is it because the most recent No Kings had a yellow umbrella theme?
Mind you, I’m very untalented at CAD, just doing it for funsies and to learn the Assembly workbench. I will upload it to ManyFold when it’s done and tested though if anyone’s interested.
I’m hoping it’ll be sturdy enough to survive blunt impacts, and able to slow down some weaker munitions, but it’s gonna be on the heavy side. Expecting it to cost roughly $100 worth of parts. You could definitely build it WAY cheaper but I’m going all high quality.
Dunno, umbrellas just popped into my head – probably to do with the rain we have here
Have fun with the modelling!
Thanks!! It’s rainy here too lol
Make it so it never rains if you have the umbrella with you.
But then you have no need for the umbrella if it’s not raining. It just becomes dead weight.
In before all life going extinct due to a massive drought.
What would happen if I wore my rain boots (it always rains where they are worn) and held this umbrella?
