This was my mom. I luckily had my easy babies after the more screamy one, but my mom had 3 kids, said she was always so judgemental of parents with kids throwing tantrums in the store, she knew she was doing something right because we didn’t do that, and in her words:
"For my hubris, God sent me Janet "
And she figured out that there are kids who scream in the store no matter what you do.
I know Lemmy is aggressively anti-child for some reason, but parenting was by far the best work I have ever done. Kids are work but such delightful little people.
Also my mom - I didn’t remember her being affectionate with us, she did a good job of clothing, feeding, educating us but wasn’t ever really, I dunno, Mom - like? I asked her about it once and she said "I don’t like little kids " and I was like WTF you had so many kids! And she said “well I like you all NOW, I knew you would grow up and become people.”
I know Lemmy is aggressively anti-child for some reason
Is it? I’ve never had a conversation on the topic on here so I truly have no idea, but my general experience with the topic is that people who don’t have or want kids (and it’s so expensive that plenty of people who do want to have kids can’t because they can’t afford it) often have their opinion on the subject disregarded, and that that is the root of any hostility towards the parents guilty of the offense.
Basically, the “I don’t want kids.” “Oh, you will.” “No, I won’t.” “You say that now, but I know better, you will.” kind of conversations that end with the parent wondering why the person they were talking to was so angry.
On the flip side, while I might be somewhat dismissive of people who are 18 and think their opinions will never change, I tend to go with, “You might change your mind someday,” but am also pretty uninvested in whether some acquaintance or even good friend decides to make a choice that is going to have almost no direct impact on me. I have also been part of more than one conversation on Lemmy where peoplenhave used the term breeder, and I’ve never seen that used in a positive way.
I have also been part of more than one conversation on Lemmy where people have used the term breeder
Ew, that’s 110% some dehumanizing language there. Gross.
The big hostility I see isn’t from 18 year olds who don’t want kids, it’s from 30 year olds being told that they’re wrong and they will want kids. I’m with you in the “it doesn’t affect me so I don’t care whether someone wants kids or not” department, but some of the conversations that I’ve seen have given off the same vibes as when a former coworker told a young lesbian that we worked with that she “just hadn’t had the right dick inside her.” That shit ain’t okay and I totally get the hostile response people have.
Yeah, a lot of young people change their minds about what they want in life, some older people, too. I kind of hope my kids change their minds but, looking around, I totally get why people would be turned off with bringing more people into this mess. Either way, it’s their choice, and I will live with whichever one they make. The same applies for choice of partners.
lol!! I feel that in my soul!! I don’t like kids, especially babies. I joke I barely liked my own. But man, my daughter is just the fucking coolest, every day she got that little bit older and we could have more in depth conversations and do more together. (I know every parent says that, but you know)
I don’t remember having a lot of affection when I was a kid, it was either ignore me and expect me to be perfectly behaved, or intense scrutiny. No in between. So when I had my daughter I wasn’t going to be like that. Lots of hugs and cuddles and always telling her how much I love her exactly how she is.
This was my mom. I luckily had my easy babies after the more screamy one, but my mom had 3 kids, said she was always so judgemental of parents with kids throwing tantrums in the store, she knew she was doing something right because we didn’t do that, and in her words:
"For my hubris, God sent me Janet "
And she figured out that there are kids who scream in the store no matter what you do.
I know Lemmy is aggressively anti-child for some reason, but parenting was by far the best work I have ever done. Kids are work but such delightful little people.
Also my mom - I didn’t remember her being affectionate with us, she did a good job of clothing, feeding, educating us but wasn’t ever really, I dunno, Mom - like? I asked her about it once and she said "I don’t like little kids " and I was like WTF you had so many kids! And she said “well I like you all NOW, I knew you would grow up and become people.”
I decided to stay child free because I know that I would not be the mom that I’d like to have. I do like kids though.
Is it? I’ve never had a conversation on the topic on here so I truly have no idea, but my general experience with the topic is that people who don’t have or want kids (and it’s so expensive that plenty of people who do want to have kids can’t because they can’t afford it) often have their opinion on the subject disregarded, and that that is the root of any hostility towards the parents guilty of the offense.
Basically, the “I don’t want kids.” “Oh, you will.” “No, I won’t.” “You say that now, but I know better, you will.” kind of conversations that end with the parent wondering why the person they were talking to was so angry.
On the flip side, while I might be somewhat dismissive of people who are 18 and think their opinions will never change, I tend to go with, “You might change your mind someday,” but am also pretty uninvested in whether some acquaintance or even good friend decides to make a choice that is going to have almost no direct impact on me. I have also been part of more than one conversation on Lemmy where peoplenhave used the term breeder, and I’ve never seen that used in a positive way.
Ew, that’s 110% some dehumanizing language there. Gross.
The big hostility I see isn’t from 18 year olds who don’t want kids, it’s from 30 year olds being told that they’re wrong and they will want kids. I’m with you in the “it doesn’t affect me so I don’t care whether someone wants kids or not” department, but some of the conversations that I’ve seen have given off the same vibes as when a former coworker told a young lesbian that we worked with that she “just hadn’t had the right dick inside her.” That shit ain’t okay and I totally get the hostile response people have.
Yeah, a lot of young people change their minds about what they want in life, some older people, too. I kind of hope my kids change their minds but, looking around, I totally get why people would be turned off with bringing more people into this mess. Either way, it’s their choice, and I will live with whichever one they make. The same applies for choice of partners.
lol!! I feel that in my soul!! I don’t like kids, especially babies. I joke I barely liked my own. But man, my daughter is just the fucking coolest, every day she got that little bit older and we could have more in depth conversations and do more together. (I know every parent says that, but you know)
I don’t remember having a lot of affection when I was a kid, it was either ignore me and expect me to be perfectly behaved, or intense scrutiny. No in between. So when I had my daughter I wasn’t going to be like that. Lots of hugs and cuddles and always telling her how much I love her exactly how she is.