cross-posted from: https://linux.community/post/3455022
smart guys who avoid drama have this ability I lack: to do their job, even if it means working more than an established, well connected lazy group of people. Smart guys do their 30 minute pause and then keep working, even if the lazier ones have longer pauses.
Maybe you’ve accepted that life is unfair, or that a job is a job and while you’re at the workplace and being paid, your employer can do with you what he wants, even if that means some of your coworkers have it easier than you and let you the most physically demanding tasks so they get the easy ones.
I am incapable of being like this:
Nursing is a physically demanding job and mentally draining as well: an even larger number of patients will complain about everything and are convinced you’re there to be their private therapist for 2 hours, forgetting I have other patients, patients are nowadays fatter with more comorbidities, they sometimes fight you, the one with dementia wants to get up and leave the ward, even if he’s there because he fell at home and broke his orbita, they question you, they blame you for things you cannot control or don’t decide, they verbally abuse you, they sometimes don’t speak English…
If I ignore the lazy ones, pause for 30 minutes and then work chances are I’ll be calling in sick the next day, because I work till my back and legs ache, it is simply not sustainable. I’m the one walking the ward side to side.
Furthermore, I don’t know if you understand how draining and frustrating is to see a group of people who are well connected and know they cannot be fired to play on their phones while you, the new guy there, are held to a different standard and are expected to work, physically, continuously, bar that 30 minute pause.
That’s why to me this is personal: the more they lazy around the more I have to work, the more back pain I get, the more frustrated I get, the more I hate it there.
You may successfully separate the people from the job and care more about the job than the people there, but I cannot get pass this, and I don’t feel I’m in the wrong.
Maybe I’m entitled? Am I wrong? AITA?
A job is about you and your employer (you do tasks they pay you compensation for the tasks), it is not you and your coworkers.
Do your work, go home and enjoy life outside of work. You have to stop worrying about other people, and the need for absolute fairness, life isn’t fair.
We have equality as a human rights concept, but equality does not mean the same. Men might have to lift heavy patients, women may be asked to console a sad person, senior workers may have become fixtures where they have freedoms juniors do not. Smokers might get smoke breaks.
Focus on you, and let everything else roll off you like water off a ducks back.
Yes to AITA. You’ve made several posts like this, dont follow any suggestions presented, decline to change (does not matter if youre neurotypical or not), I think even took another position in nursing and still miserable. If you are this miserable, as hard as it may be, likely would be worth a career change.
It takes emotional labor to seperate people and the situations you interact with. Part of work culture should be making sure that people aren’t too stressed and tired to do this labor by unrealistic work demands and inhumane treatment.
From what I understand about nursing, at least in my country, this is systematically an issue of pushing people too hard so I would say give yourself slack for not being perfectly aloof.
There’s a nursing podcast/comedy I Beg Your Pardon where this is mentioned in a few ways. Easier said than done, but prioritizing your own well-being/health as much as possible. Awareness of the issue is the first step in change for the better!!
Well, 9 out of 10 people that I worked with were more concerned with each others love lives and who was cheating on who than what was going on in my life. I can understand having some small interest in a coworkers personal life, but nosing into a persons intimate lives is not my business so I tend to keep those that thrive on that stuff at arms length
I take great pride in my work. The results are appreciated by the whole company. I’m lucky that now I’m on a small team of good people, but that isn’t always the case.
I tend to ignore the dead weight when it’s there, because I know I’ll get my part done, and if I have to work extra to pick up the slack, I’m not shy to draw attention to it.
My whole chain of command knows what I do, and not being in management, dealing with lazy ineffective people isn’t my problem.
Focus on you, talk to management about the issues you face, but don’t point out others failures, just let it be implied.
