Not even a blue suit.

Might I suggest that it is actually the typical standard condoms available out there that are the problem and not the concept of a condom itself? I have had similar experiences to you, but I decided to try getting a custom fit condom from ONE Condoms. Turns out the standard sizes were just too small and getting an appropriately sized condom improved the experience of using one significantly. I know this is sounding like an ad for ONE Condoms, but maybe it will get some folks to reconsider using protection.

“When I give food to the poor, they call me a saint. When I ask why they are poor, they call me a communist.”

Earth. Hitler. 1938.