Trump and his cronies should rename it the “Just Us” department.

Hurr durr.

|Shares have dropped by a fifth

Saw what they did there.

Hmm, so: “That last monkey, however, remained on the loose as of 2 p.m” AND “Wildlife and Fisheries department to help find the remaining monkeys.”

I mean, it could be that other, non-COVID/non-herpetic/non-whatever monkeys were also in the truck, but…

Me, too. BUT, when we read an absolutely idiotic statement from NK, we had to ask, “Wait, did the translator get that right? Nobody is that stupid, right?”

This way cuts out the middle man. Yes, they absolutely are that stupid, no question.

“Moderate Overlap Front Crash Test” makes it sound very… niche. It sounds like acing the “Multi-vendor Cup Holder Compatibility Test”, where McDonald’s, Wendy’s, and Popeye’s cups all fit.

But this is good news - after a crash, a Tesla owner can admire the sturdiness of their intact front-end while they burn to death because they’re unable to open the door and escape.

No problem! I’ve already renamed my driveway Charlie Kirk Had Penis Breath Blvd. There’s lots more available though.

This. Except his timing is off - he’s starting something with the smallest local government he knows he could beat, Venezuela. He’s sending the US Navy to “sink drug traffickers” - without proof of said crime - and warning that reprisals or protection of said ships will be an act of war. And of course, wartime presidents can have a third term. Except Congress declares war, not the president. And we have to let each and every one of those MFers know we’re watching them. Any state that wants to follow California and redraw to increase Democratic seats should do so, to reduce the possibility of war.

“First wave” of files Trump said didn’t exist. And the MAGA knights feel no disturbance in The Farce.

“President Donald Trump and Congress have invalidated the Clean Air Act waivers that were the basis for California’s actions,” said Adam Gustafson, acting assistant attorney general for the Justice Department’s environment and natural resources division. “CARB must respect the democratic process.”

Democratic process? Trump and the DOJ dictating the law? Right.

I’m allowed to be angry about two things, so I’m good.

I upvoted, but only to raise awareness of this important issue. /s

Exposing your junk while on school grounds gets you on a sex offender registry, yes? So… what’s happening with that?

So uh, how much cannabis? Asking for a fisherman.

Supreme Court: “One of us! One of us!”

I’ve seen a lot of these dumbass headlines recently, with double- and triple- and quadruple-negatives instead of clear, concise terms. They’re all like, “Appeals court rules against judge who declined to block restriction imposed by lower court on disabling injunction on tariffs…”.

Hint to newsies: If I have to diagram your damned headline to see if it’s “Yes” or “No”, rewrite it.

I would think that if an FBI director wanted a person dead, you’d be hearing about how he did it, rather than how he desired it.

Also, I once used seashells to write “69ME”, but nothing happened, to my disappointment.

I would think that if an FBI director wanted a person dead, you’d be hearing about how he did it, rather than how he desired it.

That will be the safest plane in the sky. Where else are foreign governments going to find an imbecile as easily manipulated as Trump? They must keep him safe.

On the other hand, I hope they installed a spy cam in the bathrooms. Trump on a changing table while his aides tend his diapers would be hilarious.

The article stated that there were three shooters, and only two gunshot wounds. I seem to recall from the early '70s that firing squads of five people or so always secretly loaded one weapon with blanks. That way the shooters could all convince themselves that they were the one who had the blank if their conscience bothered them. Maybe these guys did the same thing but with only three shooters…