This is the natural progression in my decade-long quest to just get one fucking friend to play and of the original STALKER games. Sometimes I feel like I chose to incarnate into this particular simulation where life gets really good in my late-thirties, but I spend a lifetime failing to get friends into STALKER.

Years back when I worked for Kmart, there was some sort of large Samsung Galaxy tablet advertised as a Black Friday front-page exclusive for only $40. As you can imagine, people were ready to kick the fucking doors down to get their hands on those, because anyone dumb enough to participate in the Black Friday madness is definitely too dumb to know why 1gb non-expandable storage is next to fucking worthless. Not to mention they had the weakest hardware imaginable, with a whopping 1.5 MP camera.

Black Friday is such a cheap illusion.

Humans steeply on the rise, animals sharply on the decline. We’re all reincarnating up.

The number gets higher and higher every time a console dweeb makes the argument that they’re not constantly fucking themselves.

It’s a nice one, too. It makes the room feel like it’s full of music. Presidents only get the best braiders.

I don’t know if this will age like my previous belief that PS1 had photo-realistic graphics, but I feel like 4k is the peak for TVs. I recently bought a 65" 4k TV and not only is it the clearest image I’ve ever seen, but it takes up a good chunk of my livingroom. Any larger would just look ridiculous.

Unless the average person starts using abandoned cathedrals as their livingrooms, I don’t see how larger TVs with even higher definition would even be practical. Especially if you consider we already have 8k for those who do use cathedral entertainment systems.

Everything in this comic is a cake pop to my brain.

Reminds me of StumbleUpon. I miss it dearly, but it had this major flaw. You’d hit stumble and it would dump you to some random part or the internet based on your interests (assuming you selected any). Sometimes an article, sometimes a pic, video, joke, you name it. Based on what you like or dislike, it was supposed to yield better stumbles over time. Except it didn’t.

What would happen is that you would eventually make the fatal mistake of liking a single image of a horse or something, and every other goddamn result from that point forward was tailored to horse culture. The only solution was to go back in your count and remove everything you ever liked, then never, ever, ever like another goddamn horse again.

But using StumbleUpon with interests selected and absolutely no feedback was a truly wonderful thing. During my younger days abusing Adderall, I used to go so fucking deep down the archeology and Celtic mythology rabbit hole, to the point where I felt like I was the intrepid explorer who was unearthing these ancient secrets.

It is kind of wild. Some dudes have small dicks, big dicks, egg-shaped dicks… Stinky dicks with moles on them… Fat dicks with freckles… Dicks that look like sad elephants… Dicks that look like Shar Peis…

Then you have big vaginas, small vaginas, long vaginas, sleeve of wizard vaginas, jutting serrated-looking labia vaginas, wise old horse-like vaginas, cauliflower vaginas, meat pile vaginas, vaginas that look like Shar Peis…

And any of these… And I mean any of them… can be on the hottest person you’ve seen in your life. It’s like opening a Kinder Egg. Drop in a coin, pull the lever, and see what surprises await you in the dankest, steamiest, most razor-burnt region inside of your new partner’s pants.

I kind of like the lore that Janet Jackson has been in Guantanamo this entire time and the rest of us completely missed the memo.

Same. 7-3:30 most days. Some an hour or two earlier. I always crash out after lunch, or guaranteed by 1:30. At that point I’m just walking around trying to find shit to do.

No, yeah… I get it.

My wife and I do this, but I’ve always wondered whether I’m actually helping or just creating a different kind of inconvenience by not organizing them in a beneficial way.

Well, I honestly can’t say that’s any more delusional than claiming to be a spiritually attuned being who answers the war cries of the Republican party. I’ve never seen a shaman more in need of a mushroom trip.

Hope she has a daughter who grows the biggest dick you’ve ever seen. Like Shrek sunbathing.

Sweet. Someone kill Charlie Kirk again just to piss him off even more.

Coke Zero is a newer diet option formulated to taste similar to original Coke, with the presence of a mild artificial sweetener flavor that is more recognizable to those who are sensitive to the taste. Diet Coke, on the other hand, was created decades before they had decent sweeteners. While it still has a sizable following of people who like it, Diet Coke tastes nothing like original Coke, and has a flavor more akin to the smell of hot plastic.

This is pretty consistent across all brands now, at least from those that I’ve tried so far. The new Zero versions are much, much closer to the original formulas.

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