I’d pay good money to watch someone fuck that little meat piggy Dana White in front of the White House. You know the yard would stink like poop and prosciutto.

That guy has strong “DO IT!” energy, so I feel like I’d be inclined.

Swamps of Dagobah right there…

Bro, I just bought a Roborock a few weeks ago and I love it. I was panic reading these comments until I saw yours and realized it’s a Roborock, not iRobot. Hope our housebots don’t meet the same fate.

Church crowd is pretty awful in the grocery industry, too. It was especially bad at my previous store, which was in a deeply evangelical town in Central Alberta. All would be quiet on Sunday until about noon. Then the floodgates would open to the most high-on-their-own-farts religious degenerates. Nobody talked down to you quite like a middle-aged woman in church clothes. And they would plug up all the aisles talking scripture and shit. Fuck, I hated that town.

I can smell that thumbnail. I can smell her good.

“Oi, Dutchman!”

…

“O hallo!”

She got a stank to her, sure… but she knows her way around a circus peanut.

I have so many memories of my dad driving us up to the corner store, beer in hand, to put $5 in the tank and rent us Megaman 4.

I always wonder about siblings in general, but I can’t just ask my wife if her sister looks exactly like her when naked. I don’t think that question would go over well… And I’m not going to ask my brother to show me his dong.

Cheesing is a state of mental euphoria which is triggered by sniffing a cat’s urine. One common method involves positioning one’s face behind a cat.

This is the natural progression in my decade-long quest to just get one fucking friend to play and of the original STALKER games. Sometimes I feel like I chose to incarnate into this particular simulation where life gets really good in my late-thirties, but I spend a lifetime failing to get friends into STALKER.

Years back when I worked for Kmart, there was some sort of large Samsung Galaxy tablet advertised as a Black Friday front-page exclusive for only $40. As you can imagine, people were ready to kick the fucking doors down to get their hands on those, because anyone dumb enough to participate in the Black Friday madness is definitely too dumb to know why 1gb non-expandable storage is next to fucking worthless. Not to mention they had the weakest hardware imaginable, with a whopping 1.5 MP camera.

Black Friday is such a cheap illusion.

Humans steeply on the rise, animals sharply on the decline. We’re all reincarnating up.

The number gets higher and higher every time a console dweeb makes the argument that they’re not constantly fucking themselves.

It’s a nice one, too. It makes the room feel like it’s full of music. Presidents only get the best braiders.

I don’t know if this will age like my previous belief that PS1 had photo-realistic graphics, but I feel like 4k is the peak for TVs. I recently bought a 65" 4k TV and not only is it the clearest image I’ve ever seen, but it takes up a good chunk of my livingroom. Any larger would just look ridiculous.

Unless the average person starts using abandoned cathedrals as their livingrooms, I don’t see how larger TVs with even higher definition would even be practical. Especially if you consider we already have 8k for those who do use cathedral entertainment systems.

Everything in this comic is a cake pop to my brain.

Reminds me of StumbleUpon. I miss it dearly, but it had this major flaw. You’d hit stumble and it would dump you to some random part or the internet based on your interests (assuming you selected any). Sometimes an article, sometimes a pic, video, joke, you name it. Based on what you like or dislike, it was supposed to yield better stumbles over time. Except it didn’t.

What would happen is that you would eventually make the fatal mistake of liking a single image of a horse or something, and every other goddamn result from that point forward was tailored to horse culture. The only solution was to go back in your count and remove everything you ever liked, then never, ever, ever like another goddamn horse again.

But using StumbleUpon with interests selected and absolutely no feedback was a truly wonderful thing. During my younger days abusing Adderall, I used to go so fucking deep down the archeology and Celtic mythology rabbit hole, to the point where I felt like I was the intrepid explorer who was unearthing these ancient secrets.