There’s literally only seven words I don’t say on the internet and they are shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits.

What.

I’m in the waiting room right now for my weekly clean-out.

My iPhone keyboard is my favorite.

I have a pretty nice mechanical keyboard but I usually cast my phone keyboard.

Freddy Got Fingered you uncultured swine.

I was thinking Aphex Twin.

I did as you told me, you dirty little girl, and pulled myself off twice when I read your letter. I am delighted to see that you do like being fucked arseways. Yes, now I can remember that night when I fucked you for so long backwards. It was the dirtiest fucking I ever gave you, darling. My prick was stuck up in you for hours, fucking in and out under your upturned rump. I felt your fat sweaty buttocks under my belly and saw your flushed face and mad eyes. At every fuck I gave you your shameless tongue come bursting out through your lips and if I gave you a bigger stronger fuck than usual fat dirty farts came spluttering out of your backside. You had an arse full of farts that night, darling, and I fucked them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole. It is wonderful to fuck a farting woman when every fuck drives one out of her. I think I would know Nora’s fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women. It is a rather girlish noise not like the wet windy fart which I imagine fat wives have. It is sudden and dry and dirty like what a bold girl would let off in fun in a school dormitory at night. I hope Nora will let off no end of her farts in my face so that I may know their smell also.

It’s goddamned poetry.

I noticed a drop in scam emails.

I think that’s where I got it from.

I’m old fashioned I get myself an eight ball on Christmas Eve and one tall hooker dressed like Mrs. Claus and one short one dressed like an elf.

Sharing is caring.

I don’t get it are you saying if the student swole up and got knotted it would be zoomer humor?

June 23, 2014

Ancient article but still a great metaphor for marriage.

Is this Negative First Law of Robotics?

I’m not planning on doing surgery with it.

I’d like to be the filling in that Stone/Parker sandwich if you get what I’m saying.

Jennifer Lopez and Gwyneth Paltrow.

It’s a magical night tonight.

Yeah he’s dreaming about Bubba whipping out that foot-long.

Does this video give anyone else a massive erection?