Such a threatening energy, I love it

When I was about 4, I was jumping on the sofa, back and forth from one arm to the other (because the middle was lava, obviously)

Misjudged it and ended up going headfirst off the end into a china cabinet next to it, glass doors and all - I ended up missing the first month of school, 32 stitches and basically half a Glasgow smile to show for it, I’m told it looks very cool

H O N K

Went to see Randall doing his book promo and being interviewed by Matt Parker (in the UK) recently and this was his exact position on it

The audience were not on his side 😆

When I started this company, I had only two things - a dream, and six million pounds

In the UK you can’t even buy that many at once 😆 without a prescription at least - paracetamol and ibuprofen are usually 16 per pack and they don’t let you buy more than one of each

All hail the God Who Hates You Unconditionally 👌

Most of the major newspapers (this is from a UK perspective but I’d imagine they’re accessible in other places) have a live news page for big developing news stories - the BBC site is probably a good unbiased-ish one

I’m a big fan of -ussy as a suffix, especially when it’s wildly unsuitable for the purpose

It’s utterly ruined ales describing themselves as “citrussy”

In that picture? It’s a bee, contemplating leaping from the edge and ending it all after reading that article

Hold the newsreader’s nose squarely, waiter, or friendly milk will countermand my trousers.

The Dollop

Particularly the 1908 New York Paris Car Race episode

“Jean-Luc, what have you done?”

Scunthorpe

Just never go to Scunthorpe

Though I just realised I’m a walking stereotype

No contest, just look at these guys

Gotta be Mark Knopfler - Sailing to Philadelphia

We all have a bean hall in our houses, building regs say you have to

A man did this in London in 1810, but with everything - chimney sweeps, piano deliveries, priests, lawyers, coal carts, doctors, undertakers, the archbishop of Canterbury…

It brought the whole area to a standstill and the guy won a guinea in a bet and ran away to the countryside

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Berners_Street_hoax