Suck a dick up til you hiccup.

*teats

What kind of machine never lies?

Fax machine

Or you could knit one and it would cost a small fraction of that. Etsy business incoming.

https://youtu.be/TqAu-DDlINs

Eleven!

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I have a herniated disc and bunched nerves, so not much.

I’m in the UK too and I definitely see plenty of moths still. Not as many as summer, but there’s plenty of moths more suited to colder weather.

I’m a big fan of vinegar. You could pickle all kinds of awful foodstuffs and I’ll eat them.

The shit smearers.

Cucumber, because fuck cucumber.

With the caveat that if it’s small and you pickle it, I’m down.

Besides that, and I can’t express this more clearly, FUCK CUCUMBER. Infects everything it touches, permeates the air, tastes like old water, smells like… Foetid moss or watery algae.

I gather the hatred some people like me carry for pukecumber has a genetic root.

My mate, Big Dave, was 6ft 10in. He was just a giant man, not just gangly like some very tall folk. He used to tell people who regularly asked that he was 4ft 34in.

I thought it was from a song first, then the viral tiktok. Either way, it’s inane brainrot.

Edit: Apologies - https://share.google/S4Wf2S27d5KAgzp99

Do you shit in the toilet or the garden?

This is the correct affirmation of his answer.

Yeah, any more than 7 is tiring.

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Why would this be on a post rather than at the neighbour’s house? Or, god forbid, speaking to them?

I read your comment then listened to all 7 mins 50 seconds. Perfectly fits the remit and a cracking tune. It’s getting downloaded and going on the list.