My Temu order coming in as expected

You can’t spell “no reason” without “nooners” ;)

Charge them rent and use that money to buy a social media company.

It’s going to suck to be forced to eat there. But what can you do, the ziabatsu commands it.

Sorry I called dibs already, you guys will have to find another cave to live in

Give him your lamp and walk away

Words with the -ism suffix. Like capitalism, authoritarianism, veganism, etc.

I just cut mine off. Just got in the way and I’m all about less clutter.

Most of the -ism’s get you here. The only one that doesn’t: Peppa Pigism

She probably feels the more involved we are with Israel vs Iran, the less involved we will be with Trump vs Americans. The lady has priorities on who she wants to die first.

That’s cause Pete did an 8-ball and a case of Coors Light™ beforehand

I’ll have you know I’ve listened to all episodes of the Revolutions podcast and remember nothing.

It’s not that hard to fake a Russian accent comrad. Did you watch Chernobyl or Death to Stalin? Steve Buscemi sounded like he was born there.

Hmm, let’s see… I like Trump cause he totally doesn’t smell like shit like people say. He’s also the smartest man in America and not incredibly stupid like his college professors wrote. He’s also as ethical as an oil corporation. His spray tan is a lovely orange and does not make him look cheap, fat and trashy.

It’s the same suit he wore when he was 16 too.

He’s going to tariff tacos next

They should know better, you obviously have a good keyboard and lots of free time. I wouldn’t mess with you and I’ve been boxing for 20 years.

Well she and Kissinger had a competition going…

Yesterday my cat took a shit. Then stepped into it with his back paw and proceeded to try and shake it off all over the house. I was playing “find the specs of turd” for hours after while he followed me around demanding a treat 🤷‍♂️

And that’s what the idiot in chief wants us to go back to.