We all carry trauma in our lives

Queen marshmallow

You think that’s impressive, wait till you see bull eggs

A vote for Albert is a vote for Albert

There’s a myth that carrots are good for your eyesight, but what’s interesting is that carrots are actually really good for your memory. I lost one up my ass when I was 12 and never forgot that moment.

Pooing?

Not sure but alligators definitely seems to be involved

Punishment for an adult man doing this: Prison

Punishment for a 13 year old by doing this: Publish his browsing and search history in the school newsletter.

Imperators riding the war rig to battle, c2075 (colourised)

1.8/10 on IMDB

My penis disappears into your mum all year round

Who’s shit-talking? They are all rough jobs in one way or another, and have their strengths and weaknesses. Some Devs specialise because the product/company is big, others generalise because the product/company is tiny and they barely have enough money to pay you, let alone seperate frontend and backend Devs, so you have to moonlight as a food van cook to make ends meet and also you live in the food van and sleep on the floor and stay warm from the exhaust of the meat fridge, every waking moment is a living nightmare and you haven’t had a proper shower in weeks because the stalls in the gym are always packed with horny gay men who are terrible kissers and don’t understand that you just want to be held for a minute jfc

He envies the bowel movement you’re probably having while reading this meme.

Does it come in red?

First time I changed the oil iny car, aged about 17, I put in about 10L then got fed up because it still wasn’t filling up all the way to the fill cap.

Ah, red falcon, I don’t miss you.

Shan’t not

What kind of maniac takes another man’s milk hostage?

Tragedy at the container port as a box crane operator falls asleep, shits himself and drops a container of deel straight through the hull of the Ever Given. 8 million high-end graphics cards and playstations were destroyed by seawater.

Just poke a hole in the side, steal what you need, and tape it shut.

You wouldn’t fuck a malnourished baby elephant.