• count_dongulus@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    In school and 99% of scenarios, physicality doesn’t do any good. But if you have a really young child, like 3-5, and they hurt another child or an animal and show no remorse, I think spanking is acceptable as a punishment immediately after the incident. They might have trouble with developing empathy and need to understand they hurt another being.

    • androogee (they/she)@midwest.social
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      2 months ago

      How does their adult role model hitting them not just teach them that hitting is socially acceptable?

      Teaching this to a kid without empathy seems like the worst imaginable circumstance lol.

      And I sure as hell don’t want someone other than the parents ever making that decision.

      • count_dongulus@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        This is the same logic given for school aged children to not fight back against bullies for decades, and bullying is now a huge problem.

        I’m talking about a situation where your own child is exhibiting bullying characteristics at a very young age. You can’t sit them down and explain why pulling their sibling’s hair shouldn’t give them gratification…they still want to do it. Just when you’re not around. The consequences have to be emotionally driven, and something they can understand and feel even when an adult is not present. What’s your alternative? Timeout? Take a toy away?

        I had a brother who tormented me for many years. My parents tried various things, and nothing worked. The thing that did work was me hitting him in the face with a metal belt when I was like ten when he physically attacked me for the millionth time. He just name-called after that, never touched me.

        Obviously an adult is not going to do something like that. But how do you correct a very young child who is exhibiting signs that they are growing into a bully?

        • flerp@lemm.ee
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          2 months ago

          No it’s not the same logic. Someone in power hitting someone teaches kids that it is acceptable to use physical violence to get your way, this encourages the child to do even more violence. A victim fighting back against their bully is self defence, it is a different situation completely. I support training victimized kids to fight and stand up for themselves, I don’t support allowing adults to hit kids as punitive measures.

          There’s no easy answer to the situation you describe, but the evidence overwhelmingly demonstrates that corporal punishment makes things worse, not better. Self defence against a bully is a completely different situation.

        • Todd Bonzalez@lemm.ee
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          2 months ago

          This is the same logic given for school aged children to not fight back against bullies for decades, and bullying is now a huge problem.

          So you literally want to teach your kid to be violent? You’re staying very far from “teaching empathy” with this one…

          I’m talking about a situation where your own child is exhibiting bullying characteristics at a very young age.

          Yeah, those kids usually have violent parents. Of course you think this is a problem to be solved with violence. Too bad you haven’t figured out yet that you’re the reason your kid is violent.

          You can’t sit them down and explain why pulling their sibling’s hair shouldn’t give them gratification…

          You literally can. You just have no patience to talk to your kids, and use violence instead.

          But how do you correct a very young child who is exhibiting signs that they are growing into a bully?

          By not being the parent that normalizes violence as a solution to problems.

    • Todd Bonzalez@lemm.ee
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      2 months ago

      In school and 99% of scenarios, physicality doesn’t do any good. But if you have a really young child, like 3-5…

      You think violence against children is only acceptable if you’re beating a toddler? That’s a really weird conclusion to reach…

      I think spanking is acceptable as a punishment immediately after the incident.

      Because you’re a shit parent who doesn’t know how to raise a child without resorting to violence. The evidence overwhelmingly shows that negative reinforcement is the worst way to discipline a child. If you think it works, you’re wrong.

      They might have trouble with developing empathy and need to understand they hurt another being.

      You’re teaching them, by example, to use violence. You’re the parent. Be a role model. How can you possibly think you can use violence to teach that violence is wrong?