Can confirm, I used to have a partner that was conditioned to accept gaslighting by their narcissistic father. They had a terrible memory for his abuse. Like he’d say these flagrantly horrible things, and I’d try to talk to them about it later and half the time they just… wouldn’t remember it.

It was really easy to accidentally railroad them too. Like I had to learn to be hyper aware of anything I said that might unconsciously contradict what they wanted, because they would just self-edit to remove the contradiction.

It’s what ended the relationship really, because even though they didn’t always consciously remember the abuse, they did expect it, and it was impossible to have a conversation about a difficult issue without them perceiving abuse and sidestepping it. The conversation would go in circles. When I got good enough at anticipating the ways they would sidestep topics, they had another strategy - just dissociate and blank out, so I’m left standing there going, “Hello? Can you hear me?”

Gaslighting is real, and it does serious damage to people.