We here at Boeing Airlines have realized our continued recent issues and failures, and for that we sincerely apologize to any and all affected passengers and crew members.
We have decided that from this point on, we will now be changing our brand name to Boing as we upgrade all of our airplanes with spring technology. That way if any of our planes fall out of the sky, they’ll go boing boing boing…
I’m sorry to say that you’re right, we have been having trouble both flying and even rolling in lines.
That’s why we at Boing are doing extensive research into straight springs, as we have found spiral springs more likely to poke out the landing gear.
Plus straight springs should allow the plane to fly and even bounce in a safer and more predictable manner.
We will also provide slinkies for every passenger and crew member as a support harness, with the oxygen tube going through it.
We value the safety of our passengers. Please bring your own duct tape…