Are you, like in the article, afraid of your relationships becoming transactional? Do you think that if you paid for stuff for your friends every once in a while, they would start expecting it of you, and think of you only as a means of getting this free perk?
I simply don’t see why anyone would expect me to pay for their anything when I don’t expect that of anyone else either. If I buy my SO a dinner I pretty much assume her to pay the next time. It’s simple and fair that way and that’s how my (probably) autistic brain works. I can hardly justify spending 22€ on my own burger and a coke, let alone pay for someone else’s dinner.
So you’re saying that your situation is totally unlike the situation we’re talking about and your input therefore totally meaningless and your comment pointless and absurd.
What you describe is transactional. I pay for your meal, now you owe me a meal of equal value. The inability to treat others (even people you’re romantically involved with) without expecting reimbursement is a characteristic of narcissistic personalities traditionally found among affluent people.
I’m aware that my brain works differently from your average person in many other ways too. However in this case I don’t see my way of behaving as unfair or narcissistic. Quite the opposite. It’s objectively a fair way of dealing with it. A nacissistic person would be seeking to take advantage of other people and that’s the opposite of how I live my life. I give back in other ways.
It’s “fair” on a very shallow level. If the money spent is a small portion of your disposable income but would cut into the grocery budget of someone else it isn’t really equal. Relative cost, not objective cost, is a better measure of fairness.
Are you, like in the article, afraid of your relationships becoming transactional? Do you think that if you paid for stuff for your friends every once in a while, they would start expecting it of you, and think of you only as a means of getting this free perk?
I simply don’t see why anyone would expect me to pay for their anything when I don’t expect that of anyone else either. If I buy my SO a dinner I pretty much assume her to pay the next time. It’s simple and fair that way and that’s how my (probably) autistic brain works. I can hardly justify spending 22€ on my own burger and a coke, let alone pay for someone else’s dinner.
A guy that can’t afford a burger and coke imagining he’s the affluent people this article talks about is peek American capitalism.
You don’t need to lick boots in the hope you’ll someday be wearing them.
I specifically said I’m not rich, I never said I can’t afford that and I’m not even American. Anything else?
So you’re saying that your situation is totally unlike the situation we’re talking about and your input therefore totally meaningless and your comment pointless and absurd.
Thanks for clarifying
What you describe is transactional. I pay for your meal, now you owe me a meal of equal value. The inability to treat others (even people you’re romantically involved with) without expecting reimbursement is a characteristic of narcissistic personalities traditionally found among affluent people.
I’m aware that my brain works differently from your average person in many other ways too. However in this case I don’t see my way of behaving as unfair or narcissistic. Quite the opposite. It’s objectively a fair way of dealing with it. A nacissistic person would be seeking to take advantage of other people and that’s the opposite of how I live my life. I give back in other ways.
It’s “fair” on a very shallow level. If the money spent is a small portion of your disposable income but would cut into the grocery budget of someone else it isn’t really equal. Relative cost, not objective cost, is a better measure of fairness.