The fediverse is only unappealing to normies because nobody listens to my ideas! When will society learn that I am the greatest man to ever live in history, and my word should be what generations worship for the rest of their lives?

Anyways…

All you gotta do to make the fediverse popular, is program the fediverse to give you a blowjob everytime you say “I’ve had a rough day!”

And then it cleans your house, and spanks your spouse!

I will accept all of your money now, please!