A lot of comments in here assuming there wasn’t good reason to restrain the kid. Or that this school exists only to contain kids of parents who can’t be bothered to be there for their kids. That might be true, but it’s just as much of an assumption as the opposite.
My daughter is 10, adopted at 5 from a traumatic past. Last weekend I asked her to do a chore and because she didn’t want to, escalated to assaulting me. Eventually she needed to be restrained because she refused to take simple steps at my suggestion to get herself calmed down and instead attempted to hit, kick, bite, and headbutt me. Maybe you assume this is simply me being a bad parent, but the fact is that I remained calm and only asked her to take the time to calm down with the skills she’s been working on for this kind of thing. The trauma she was exposed to before I adopted her was not my fault, but I have to deal with how that impacts her choices every day. And sometimes that means restraining her, calling the police, or admitting her to residential treatment. None of those are ideal outcomes, but I have to make choices that will keep me, my wife, our son (her biological brother we also adopted), and HER safe. If you had seen the kind of damage she can do, you would also not make the dumbass suggestion to just leave her be; I can assure you, there was not a better option last weekend.
So idk, you could be right: this place could be fucked up and they could’ve had no good reason to restrain this kid. But I don’t think it’s fair to assume that this person deserved to die because they had a teen drop kick them in a school for troubled kids. They were likely doing their best to help this kid and instead got assaulted to death on the job.
When I was a kid, I knew a kid who was (presumed) special needs but also EXTREMELY VIOLENT. I remember being in the 3rd grade and seeing him literally being carried away into a side room at school (probably to get him away from someone). And I mean like some teachers had his arms, and others had his legs, literally suspending him in the air because he wasn’t going willingly to any degree.
He was known for biting and clawing. One time, he flat-out just choked me. He was a known entity in the school.
I have no idea where he ended up. I think his mom ended up putting him in a group home or something because she basically couldn’t overpower him anymore, and he made it known he was pissed at her.
we knew a SPED in school, who dint seemed violent at first, but strange occurences only happened after we all graduated from HS. we had no real formal relationship with the guy, but he started showing up at our house and frequently after that. after we had turn away because nobody in the house had any friendships in him, he started geting angry and violent. so we had to call the parent multiple times, last i heard they moved away and he had to put in some healthcare situation. like stuffing our door keyhole with toothpicks(classic stalking killer vibe), and threw a random computer monitor onto the car window and game cartridge went missing. this was like 15+years ago.
Yeah dude. It’s sad, but sometimes a kid is just dangerous to other people. There’s no amount of reason or gentleness that can help. It fucking sucks. I hope he’s doing okay now, and I hope his mom has peace with whatever has happened. It’s so hard to be comfortable with your child being completely unhinged, and the choices you have to make to keep others safe around them.
Yeah dude. It’s sad, but sometimes a kid is just dangerous to other people. There’s no amount of reason or gentleness that can help.
My son is special needs, has/had violent episodes. While this statement might be true, I just can’t agree. I may have given up my career to sit in therapist offices, but I believe every troubled kid deserves a shot. With enough love (and meds and coping skills) one can overcome the sheer angst that lives inside them.
I have absolutely had to ‘hold’ my own child at the school in years past. Shits not for the weak, but I’ve watched him overcome this, and is becoming more successful each year. With enough support, these kids can be successful. The truth is, the parents also need support, and they often don’t have it themselves, so it compounds into deeming the child a lost cause.
I hate when what should happen, doesn’t become what is. But no child is irredeemable. That’s how I feel.
I 100% agree. My “sometimes” meant in-the-moment. Long term gentleness and reasoning is obviously the way to go. But when my daughter is popping off and in full on assault mode, she can’t be “oh I know, doing a thing you don’t like is so tough isnt it?” Out of kicking a fuckin hole in the wall or bruising every one of my limbs.
A lot of comments in here assuming there wasn’t good reason to restrain the kid. Or that this school exists only to contain kids of parents who can’t be bothered to be there for their kids. That might be true, but it’s just as much of an assumption as the opposite.
My daughter is 10, adopted at 5 from a traumatic past. Last weekend I asked her to do a chore and because she didn’t want to, escalated to assaulting me. Eventually she needed to be restrained because she refused to take simple steps at my suggestion to get herself calmed down and instead attempted to hit, kick, bite, and headbutt me. Maybe you assume this is simply me being a bad parent, but the fact is that I remained calm and only asked her to take the time to calm down with the skills she’s been working on for this kind of thing. The trauma she was exposed to before I adopted her was not my fault, but I have to deal with how that impacts her choices every day. And sometimes that means restraining her, calling the police, or admitting her to residential treatment. None of those are ideal outcomes, but I have to make choices that will keep me, my wife, our son (her biological brother we also adopted), and HER safe. If you had seen the kind of damage she can do, you would also not make the dumbass suggestion to just leave her be; I can assure you, there was not a better option last weekend.
So idk, you could be right: this place could be fucked up and they could’ve had no good reason to restrain this kid. But I don’t think it’s fair to assume that this person deserved to die because they had a teen drop kick them in a school for troubled kids. They were likely doing their best to help this kid and instead got assaulted to death on the job.
You’re doing a great job. Thank you for loving them.
❤️
When I was a kid, I knew a kid who was (presumed) special needs but also EXTREMELY VIOLENT. I remember being in the 3rd grade and seeing him literally being carried away into a side room at school (probably to get him away from someone). And I mean like some teachers had his arms, and others had his legs, literally suspending him in the air because he wasn’t going willingly to any degree.
He was known for biting and clawing. One time, he flat-out just choked me. He was a known entity in the school.
I have no idea where he ended up. I think his mom ended up putting him in a group home or something because she basically couldn’t overpower him anymore, and he made it known he was pissed at her.
we knew a SPED in school, who dint seemed violent at first, but strange occurences only happened after we all graduated from HS. we had no real formal relationship with the guy, but he started showing up at our house and frequently after that. after we had turn away because nobody in the house had any friendships in him, he started geting angry and violent. so we had to call the parent multiple times, last i heard they moved away and he had to put in some healthcare situation. like stuffing our door keyhole with toothpicks(classic stalking killer vibe), and threw a random computer monitor onto the car window and game cartridge went missing. this was like 15+years ago.
Yeah dude. It’s sad, but sometimes a kid is just dangerous to other people. There’s no amount of reason or gentleness that can help. It fucking sucks. I hope he’s doing okay now, and I hope his mom has peace with whatever has happened. It’s so hard to be comfortable with your child being completely unhinged, and the choices you have to make to keep others safe around them.
My son is special needs, has/had violent episodes. While this statement might be true, I just can’t agree. I may have given up my career to sit in therapist offices, but I believe every troubled kid deserves a shot. With enough love (and meds and coping skills) one can overcome the sheer angst that lives inside them.
I have absolutely had to ‘hold’ my own child at the school in years past. Shits not for the weak, but I’ve watched him overcome this, and is becoming more successful each year. With enough support, these kids can be successful. The truth is, the parents also need support, and they often don’t have it themselves, so it compounds into deeming the child a lost cause.
I hate when what should happen, doesn’t become what is. But no child is irredeemable. That’s how I feel.
I 100% agree. My “sometimes” meant in-the-moment. Long term gentleness and reasoning is obviously the way to go. But when my daughter is popping off and in full on assault mode, she can’t be “oh I know, doing a thing you don’t like is so tough isnt it?” Out of kicking a fuckin hole in the wall or bruising every one of my limbs.
Sending love. Good on you for what you do
❤️
<3