The same reactionary wingnuts who used to fret a lot about hormones and sports have abruptly pivoted. Not long ago, figures like Peter Thiel and Donald Trump Jr. were hell-bent on keeping testosterone, the elixir of their gods, in its gendered lane. Now they want athletes of all sexes to surge with male hormones. They’ve become pro-doping.
Thus the Enhanced Games (yep, that’s the name), nominally a steroids-addled sports event but in fact a eugenics experiment venture-capitalized with max virility by Thiel and Don Jr… For extra manly pow, the event’s CEO is Aron D’Souza, a Thiel pal who spearheaded Thiel’s crusade against Gawker Media for the crime of press freedoms.
Why is real life so fucking stupid right now
Because Biff Tannen time-travelled from 1985 to 1955 to give himself a sports almanac that let him amass a huge fortune on sports betting, which he used to take over the country.
Oh god…
The good news is that all you have to do to fix this is make out with your mom.
Listen, I don’t make the rules. Just get to second base with your mom and we can all go home.
I’m just an innocent bystander here, but I specifically remember the last time these two were in 1955, the kid had to run from his mom, and I’m pretty sure the crazy scientist was drunk the whole time, at the very least.
The other day I read “every day is the dumbest day, until tomorrow” and I will always remember those wise words.
As one of Chevy Chase’s characters said, “Every day is better than the next.”
A weird statistical mix of dumb evil people stumbling into a good situation for themselves on the heels of a lot of good technology created that was deployed completely irresponsibly, it’s like winning the shithead lottery. Only saving grace is that they’re so dumb the smarts can correct it easily, (lead, IP addresses, or otherwise) but it could still get much worse as anyone that knows business, the dumbs in business can drag the whole company into the deep despite smart people trying to stop the drowning. Smarts can’t just come out and slap the dumbs in government though, because ersatz rules and potential death. So it has to be a long-game, that hopefully ends with the dumbs having a painful terrible end, I’d even add confusing as an acceptable feeling in that end state, even though it is cruel, because they deserve it. They’ll never learn anyway, and they are laser-focused on cruelty to anyone they don’t like, so they really should get to personally enjoy the Old Testament shit themselves. Also why correct 2A peeps haven’t acted yet. Risk is too high when you have a pea shooter and some really stupid people are holding the nuclear football.
Big plus though, even if Mango had unicorn piss connections for long life, his heart is failing and he’s going to have a Big Mac Shit soon that will take him to a place even the Christian Satan wouldn’t want to touch. Probably slightly longer than the usual 6 month time period because child soul injections, but less than a year, probably.
The most annoying part of the now thought, where are the oil barons? Truthfully. Fixing the planet so we get to keep living here is so insanely profitable. There should be so many people plugging solar or wind or old mines as water batteries. The US regression is so confounding.
Because the Supreme Court decided to allow unlimited dark money in politics with Citizens United.
Because you can’t rule earth with just a few handful of ultra-rich overlords without making the masses totally dumb and easily manipulated first…
My guess is that we died during Covid and this is some kind of hell. Even though things were bad before 2020, I feel that the last five years has just been one bad thing beating the last bad thing
Unfortunately though, there are still people at the top living like fucking kings.
So if this were some sort of afterlife, that would imply that they were “good” and got the rewards, and we were “bad,” and get the punishment.
They are demons. Not every “human” would be real in hell. That’s why they are getting richer exponentially. It’s just to punish us. Hopefully when we die here, it’s not just another circle ⭕️ 🔥
It makes me think back to episodes of Lost and think “that’s so much more plausible than current reality.”