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Cake day: July 1st, 2023

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  • ynthrepic@lemmy.worldtoLemmy Shitpost@lemmy.worldGood point
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    2 months ago

    My hope would be that the girls your friend rails behave and feel the same way and their respective partners if they have them know it too, or they’re single and that’s their thing. Maybe they don’t care about herpes, syphilis, chlamydia, or HIV either, because the thrill is worth the risk.

    I know that isn’t even mostly the case and most people are behaving in ways they will later regret. But I do think there’s a culture in which we can be more honest and happy with having a bit more love in our lives.

    It will take work and conversations like this are a small part of that I guess.


  • ynthrepic@lemmy.worldtoLemmy Shitpost@lemmy.worldGood point
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    2 months ago

    I would be uncomfortable with my partner hooking up with a stranger. That’s a betrayal of our shared values, and creates risks for both of us (e.g. unwanted pregnancy, STDs, and general drama that could create a lot of unnecessary stress). I would rather know that she has fallen for someone we’re both know preferably, and who she loves and believes she can trust implicitly. I would still feel a healthy amount of jealousy, and be worried about thing going wrong, and her being hurt. But I would trust her judgment, and trust she won’t run away and leave me to raise our kid on my own. But yeah, the sex, and intimacy in this case, wouldn’t bother me too much.



  • ynthrepic@lemmy.worldtoLemmy Shitpost@lemmy.worldGood point
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    2 months ago

    What makes cheating, cheating, is the betrayal of trust involved more than any specific acts of intimacy. The reality is in monogamous relationships merely falling for someone else, even without then knowing how you feel, already feels like a betrayal in your heart as a loyal partner who wishes you only had eyes for your SO and nobody else. Even porn in some cases is a betrayal. It’s a whole lot of unnecessary suffering not to acknowledge how the overwhelming majority of us won’t mentally thrive under these conditions. Therefore, setting expectations appropriate for your situation is key.

    For my part, my SO understands that due in part to her relatively low sex drive and complete lack of initiative, certain needs of mine aren’t being met, and we’ve talked about it. I still love her deeply, and we have recently had a child, and I have every intention of meeting my obligations as a father and partner for the rest of my life. But, there’s a real possibility I could fall for someone else one day. I already have friends who I can say I love and would jump at the opportunity to be intimidate with should they show that kid of interest. What interests me though, are loving bonds, not hookups (I mean STD risks and all sorts. Ew). I want to be close with those who I sleep with, and i want them to know I love my partner and will always be there for her and our child. But, there’s space for them too, if they want in. Ideally, my partner likes and accepts them too - and the more close they are as friends (or even lovers too) the better.

    In any case, that’s the dream I guess. Nothing has happened yet, and I find with a baby to look after, I’m in no rush, and certainly even with everything out in the open, it’s still too much drama to navigate at the moment. But if it does happen one day, at least it won’t result in a litany of lies that lead to guilt and suffering all around. At least, that’s the idea. I know it will never be quite that easy in reality, but it wouldn’t be life otherwise!


  • ynthrepic@lemmy.worldtoLemmy Shitpost@lemmy.worldGood point
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    2 months ago

    People aren’t honest enough with each other and their own needs. Meanwhile we build other dependencies in long term relationships that have nothing to do with physical attraction, but are in most cases more important for all kinds of reasons.

    Monogamy is the basis of a lot of unnecessary suffering because it’s resisting a very real need we continue to have even when our relationships become romantically stagnant. If we could all just be honest about it with our SOs without fear, and work together as we do anyway to maintain other commitments to each other, we could have a culture where there’s a lot more freedom to seek more intimacy and love in a way that isn’t dishonest, that isn’t “cheating”.




  • ynthrepic@lemmy.worldtoLemmy Shitpost@lemmy.worldStay Mad, Tankies
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    3 months ago

    I’m sorry if you’re having a hard time, but the statistics and the Bills Biden has passed are improvements for many, even if they don’t help you personally.

    Anyway, hopefully we agree we both want Trump gone, and Biden too. Given how terrible Biden was at the debate there’s a good chance now, and that will mean a better chance the democrats defeat Trump.

    Then, the work begins to achieve something even better than what the Democrats have to offer. But it isn’t coming from the right-wing, that’s for sure.


  • ynthrepic@lemmy.worldtoLemmy Shitpost@lemmy.worldStay Mad, Tankies
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    3 months ago

    Nobody is saying things are fine. They’re just not as bad as they could be, or as bad as might feel to a lot of middle class folks. It’s still very shit for baby though don’t get me wrong.

    Not going to wish violence on Biden - he’s only improved things relative to where they were at the end of Trump’s term. But I do want him to walk off into the sunset away from the presidency.

    Trump on the other hand I agree is living excrement so I’d be quite happy for him to be flushed. I don’t care about revenge though. I just want his stink gone from the world.



  • ynthrepic@lemmy.worldtoLemmy Shitpost@lemmy.worldStay Mad, Tankies
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    3 months ago

    The perception is not quite the same as the reality.

    Nevertheless, Trump is doing a better job of fueling this view and promising change, even if it’s all lip service - he doesn’t care because his followers believe everything he says.

    The reality is things are better now than in 2020 for most Americans. Unemployment is very low, and wages are up. Relative to the richest of course things are only getting more distant but again, you want Trump to bring equality? Good luck with that, lol.



  • ynthrepic@lemmy.worldtoLemmy Shitpost@lemmy.worldStay Mad, Tankies
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    3 months ago

    The best thing that Biden ever did was just to not be Trump.

    He has done a lot.

    The economy is booming.

    It’s just that he’s simply not Trump.

    I’m not sure you realize just how big of a single issue this is.

    Trump is a psychopathic cult leader running a campaign of lies, defamation, and retribution. He aspires to be the US’s first authoritarian leader, and wants to turn the nation into a nuclear armed Switzerland. He wants to keep inflation high so that corporate America can continue to enrich the few at the expense of the many. He is literally telling business prices will continue to rise, while simultaneously promising the public that he will bring “Biden’s” high prices down. It’s utter madness.

    Because he is “not Trump” could not be a deeper reason to vote for Biden. Especially when not voting or voting for a third party candidate effectively empowers Trump’s campaign and the many more on the right who will always vote for their team no matter what.


  • ynthrepic@lemmy.worldtoLemmy Shitpost@lemmy.worldJenkins.
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    3 months ago

    The good news is that if someone went back and changed the past, then events would transpire such that they never had to go back in time for that reason, and so they wouldn’t., i.e. nothing would change. Not unless the whole exercise spins only the time traveler off into their own new universe in which they’re the only one with a memory of this alternative timeline from which they came.


  • Work is fine, if it’s meaningful to you. Consuming is basically everything we do that isn’t “work”. And death is inevitable.

    If we didn’t all have to do soul destroying jobs when we’re young, I think we’d grow up with less of a desire to waste our youths trying to die young taking stupid risks in the name of YOLO or whatever. It also doesn’t help most of us never stop do sounds south destroying jobs.

    But it doesn’t have to be this way. More progressivism is needed to get us toward a post-work future. Check out ‘solar punk’. That’s a future worth wanting.