This is the kind of useless bullshit I plan to do when I retire! I’m looking forward to it.

I had one. I really liked it but there were a couple of major downsides I remember. If you had to reboot it, it took many minutes to come back up. It also had the build quality of a sand castle. My wife and I both went through multiple devices in the couple of years we had them. It was my first smart phone.