Single guy here, I love beer. And whiskey.

Lacto pickle juice is God tier at killing a hangover. Don’t waste your money and life on vinegar pickles. You need proper authentic bubbie pickles BUT that shit absolutely slaps after a heavy night on the town.

Some mornings you’ll do more shots of pickle juice than liquor the night prior. That’s good!

Thank me later. Learn to lacto ferment vegetables and you’ll never nurse a hangover again.

Piss in the shower

• Makes the mango taste better

I hide them in my foreskin. WAY more flattering.

Why give it the wifi password on the first place?

The Moon is 384,400 km away from Earth. If you took every elephant on Earth and stacked them one atop another most of them would die.

What are you doing stepsyrup?!

As a teenager my buddy’s mom told us a joke.

What does NASA stand for?

Needs Another Seven Astronauts

They mass produce Wagyu cattle and yet aren’t famous for their steak. (Their Wagyu is my favourite beef too)

I’m not hating or rage bait, I truly believe in their chefs. I want them to get creative.

It’s a viable placeholder until Australia produces a cuisine good enough.

Has anyone ever said “Hey babe let’s go to the Australian restaurant tonight”

I don’t think Australians even say that.

Soap tastes bitter. I’ll pass. I want natural bean.

Crispy for her disgust.

Hence me exercising extreme discipline for when the news arrives😎

I’ll happily turn it into urine then.

It was just a double entendre, not a jab. I lol’d then and I’m lol’ing now friend.

Wouldn’t you be?

I cannot enjoy rye whiskey at all. I’ll tolerate scotch or Irish but I’m a bourbon man through and through. I have an unopened bottle of pre-Trump Woodford waiting for that glorious day.

Sir this is a shitpost

Melania is Slovenian, guarantee this was a Barron grift play. He’s good at computer.

Bath salt more likely