I can feel good about eating a bag of Halloween candy because the many non recyclable wrappers slowed me down

Pumpkin spice fent would taste so sweet

Poor monkeys need someone to give them a hug

When she dies, they should install a speaker in her casket to auto play that song from Nov 1st to Jan 1st non stop.

Looks like pasta 😋

Then that software engineer that was replaced by AI becomes Sam’s personal chef to kill him

3.14thon

Do your balls hang low? Do they wobble to and fro?

Do you ever ask yourself, “I wonder if I have cancer right now and don’t even know it?”

the 5g was fine, but I got radio frequency treatment today for my dry eyes, so it really feels like a 10g now

Did Canada hurt Trump’s fee fee feelings?! 😢

I got my flu and COVID vaccines yesterday. Hoping to prevent cancer or something. Slightly sore arm, but no flu feelings.

Dogs and humans both equally benefit from a daily walk or two.

Mayonnaise is food lube

Anybody offering?

Drop the weapon!

Yeah, it was a dumb joke because the carrot is jumbo. Dick size doesn’t matter. Even small dicks are fine. What actually matters is how frequently a guy goes down on a woman.

10 inches tall, 2.5lbs, all cock

Wish my boyfriend was 2.5 lbs