I think the way you applied it showed some nuance, as you talked about it in non-absolute terms. However, when applied broadly it can be harmful.

If we always assume that homophobes and transphobes are queer and trans, then we assume that queer and trans folx are the ones hurting themselves. It’s a small jump from there to say that closted lgbtq people are the source of lgbtq people’s trauma, which is both harmful and false.

Not sure where you think I claim to know the true path. I can assure you I don’t, even just in my relationships. I was mentioning an option, if you wanted something, that seemed relevant based on your words. I’m confused how discussing folks who have a different view of consent make them cultists.

But the thing about consent being key is that you’re more than welcome to reach your own conclusions. You do you.

Just want to say I’m sorry your potential partners are turned off by consent seeking. I definitely wouldn’t be with my partners if they didn’t find consent sexy.

I can promise you that the actual bdsm community cares a great deal about consent. Negotiating is a critical skill in that context, especially if engaging in stuff that might look nonconsensual. If you like your sex kinky and consensual you might seek out your local kink scene.