(I love when I get to post these joke chains)

How do you get 4 elephants in a mini cooper? -Two in the front, two in the back.

How do you get 2 whales in a mini cooper? -Take the M4 and go over the Severn bridge.

How can you tell there’s an elephant in your fridge? -Footprints in the custard.

How can you tell there’s 2 elephants in your fridge? -You can hear them giggle when the light goes out.

How can you tell there’s 3 elephants in your fridge? -You can’t quite get the door shut.

How can you tell there’s 4 elephants in your fridge? -There’s a mini cooper outside.

“That’ll show those poor!”
“Why are you cheering? You’re not rich.”
“True, but someday, I might be. And then people like me had better watch their step!”

I feel like there are some people who only think the holocaust was bad because it targeted Jews, and it would have been fine if the Jews were left out of it. Just to make it clear, any attempt to bring death to millions of innocent people makes you a level of evil you can never atone for. I don’t care which people they are.

I was about to say! Just need to add a sad rendition of Smells Like Teen Spirit.

I choose to believe “comedy” is what he calls his penis. It’s basically dead, and he hopes technology can revive it.

The fucker’s worth between $600 mil and $2.5 bil, just to put his opinion into context. I mean, what kind of regular person isn’t worth at least half a billion?

There is, however, a fourth monkey covering his crotch. “Do no evil”

The guy claims he altered the image to change his tie, as if that’s the problem with the image. The guy’s suit is made of leather, there’s a deformity by his right ear, his hair is wood texture, his eyes are different colours, his lips are too small and too bright, his shirt has been blurred smooth… I could go on, but it’s honestly kinda gross to look at that picture for too long.

Don’t be mean to Rick Astley like that! Rick looks nothing like that bargain bin ken doll with several minutes of amateur photoshop applied to it from the article.

Absolutely. We just try not to put the idiots in front of cameras and the world stage. Then we got distracted by Doctor Who and Piers Morgan slipped out.

It’s where he belongs.

Sorry, did that lorry driver seriously say Nigel Farage has charisma? The man who evokes a slug you step on in the rain without killing, but don’t feel bad enough to stop and apologise to? Just say you like that he’s racist and stop bullshitting.

…I didn’t notice which community it was… Forehead fully on desk. Well done.

What people? Why are you trying to make yourself plural? It is just you. You’re only defending yourself. And the only way you can think you defend yourself is to claim everyone else is doing what you’re doing, but you’re not.

It’s so ironic you call me hateful when you tell me to get fucked one sentence before, and it’s not the only time you’ve said “fuck you” this comment thread.

Yes, so all I have to go on is your hateful attitude, which is a deeply unattractive trait. And given the stream of vitriol that you gave upon someone doubting how much men want to bone you, I’m pretty confident in that.

Sorry, did you mean to reply to me? Because nothing you wrote had anything to do with what I said. I never went after anyone, and I never said anyone was good or bad. Morality and sexuality are entirely unrelated. All I did is doubt how popular you claim to be, given your attitude. Not sure why that’s causing so much hostility.

Not sure what I presumed. I called your statement bullshit, but also justified my point of view. Meanwhile, you presumed that being creeped out by someone thinking you’re attractive is normal.

Something tells me the wall would be a more productive conversation than you.

First of all, I’m gonna call bullshit on people hitting on you. Hateful attitudes aren’t attractive.

Second of all, if a gay person hits on me, I’d be surprised and flattered, and politely turn them down.

Third (and more comedically), as a straight man, I would try NOT to get the willies, because I am not attracted to willies.

If the British government is any example, it’d be Rwanda.

But you will trash talk it, it seems. Odd that trash talk is only okay when you do it.