Yeah it was the craziest thing! Someone shouted, “Hey look, a squirrel” and the poor kid just keeled over.

I’ve never read anything that’s so convoluted and yet so stupid at the same time. Congrats!

They’re more than an ally! According to Mike Huckabee, Israel is America’s wife.

Lemme tell ya, I have never been more raptured!

Props on the username, OP

That’s funny because he was literally answering a question about trans mass shooters when his neck exploded.

Jar Jar Binks has a Caribbean black accent!

Trump’s latest rambling about hoping he goes to heaven ends with his assertion that we need more religion in the US. The whole thing is hilarious but that last part especially so.

You can workout every day and still do all the other things. Good luck keeping a relationship though hah

Dude, the Carabinieri are fucking SCARY. I’d rather face a US state trooper and a Canadian Mountie at the same time.

Don’t post the fucking Babylon Bee, for chrissake…

It took me a minute, but I just realized that your description could actually apply to two completely different slurs.

It’s one banana, Michael, how much could it cost?

You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don’t wanna know about it, believe me.

Yeah Jimmy Dore fucks around with Alex Jones. They can both go to hell

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How did your friends feel when she was pallin’ around with George Bush?

She’s as much a queer person as Oprah is a person of color. The rich are their own nation, and they don’t give a shit about you or your friends.

This hard drive is so big, when I tried to weigh it the scale just said “one at a time please”.

Those worm lights were the first time I ever saw an LED. It was crazy to me that it was so bright it was blue.

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They almost encounter each other. He’s hiding in the hotel room after Llewelyn is killed near the end of the movie. Anton is literally shivering with fear on the other side of the door. Somehow he disappears before the sheriff enters the room.