Comedy could use a GWAR style act.

I mean… The way it’s going, they’ll be able to sell it as the same without telling you. Like a server at olive garden “excuse me sir, would you like some cheese-like foodstuff made from tree pulp?”

Sympathy is when someone is hurting and you feel bad about that. Empathy is when someone is hurting and you feel hurt yourself.

“wine” mostly welches with some lead and forever chemicals for taste.

Going for the Gary busey look.

Smart home devices. IOT devices. Subscriptions to things I paid for at purchase (car stuff like upgraded performance or heated seats)

I guess people aren’t getting the joke…

🎶"There goes my hero, watch it as it goes, there goes my hero, it’s my concealed carry"🎶

To be fair, while wearing one you can feel someone lightly patting you on the chest. I’m sure he did feel it but no way on earth did it hurt.

“Shhhh we don’t talk about that in these parts, Dr. Von Braun.”

We have a poultry/pig processing plant in town that pays $14/hr starting. Which is less than 2 x the minimum wage. Which isn’t even remotely close to a living wage in any neighboring counties 2 deep at least. I eat at a restaurant where a guy works his second job that he needs to survive. According to him (I can’t nor do I care to confirm) he lives with his girlfriend and two roommates, the roommates also all work at the same facility and also all have 2nd jobs.

Man, I can’t wait to see this movie

I switch around a lot and was considering getting it for a month but then the Colbert thing happened and now this? Never again.

My personal favorite is “the defendant didn’t show up”. It’s worked for me twice now.

“I just plan to play around with it in the yard”

Edit: literally me when I bought throwing knives and a target board.

Nah she’s just opporunistic. She’s a populist above all.

Well thanks for the benefit of the doubt. But I totally face planted and deserve it.

Apparently lol. After his previous stances, I thought no way is it real. It’s like MTG fighting for the ACA. I was like, no fuckin way is this real. But 2025 yo. Everything is ridiculous, nothing is probable, everything is dangerous and wildly likely. Who fuckin knows at this point? I honestly wouldn’t be surprised by flying scorpions at this point. Like you keep assuming it can’t get worse but it always does. So fucking flying scorpions doesn’t sound that far fetched anymore.

God damnit I bit an onion that wasn’t even there lol.

Martha is more gangster than snoop.