I was gifted a phone without a headphone jack after my last one died a few years back. I miss it all the time, remembering to charge bluetooth headphones and not losing bluetooth buds is tricky for me. So a lot of the time I just dont play music anymore. Very annoying.

Pokemon go, since they upped the price of remote raids and made waaay harder for people like me out in a remote town to fully participate I’ve not been back. Which sucks because I really liked collecting pokemon with it. But I kept getting the feeling that the company hated me. Well it doesnt seem to like any of its users, but it especially didn’t like the ones in locations like mine. So I left and refuse to go back.

Also a local art shop , the owner was really snobby and said I couldnt afford the paint I was after. She was correct but still, not nice to make me feel bad about it.

Whenever I think of the future I get it bad. Disabled, poor, parents are my carers, couldn’t afford to live on my own even if I could. And every year the bushfires get bigger and closer to home. If I let it it constant dread would become my default state, but I am aware of this and try to focus on the now.

Not to say I don’t do my best to safe guard the future, have plans in place for if I ever need to navigate the things that scare me most. But I try not to dwell on it. Someday my parents will die, failing some sort of miracle I will end up in a care home without my pets. But I might also drop dead tomorrow in which case all my worrying will have been for nothing.

Right now at this very moment things are going ok and the number one thing that makes it not ok is worrying about a time in the future when its entirely not ok. But why meet it in the middle? I can’t change the rivers current, best I can do is try to steer on the odd occasion where the path splits.

When my brother and I were around 14 we were killing time waiting for our mum while she was shopping. The main street was old so the storefronts opened out onto the street and the foot path was undercover. Every store had a sign hanging out the front. We were running along and jumping to touch every sign.

We came across one that was too high. I gave up but my brother was jumping for all he was worth and I was laughing at his failure to touch it. Because thats what siblings do.

My brother stopped to catch his breath and this really tall adult man wearing professional bright white chef clothing flies past, jumps really high and touches the sign. He shoots us a wide toothy grin mid air, lands on the ground, then casually continues on down the street. It was so unexpected, such a high jump from such a fancy looking man. We were extremely impressed and talked about it for months.

I bought an old box full of used cast iron cookware from a mostly boarded up corner store that smelled weird. I had spent the day looking through yard sales trying to find some and we needed to buy a drink, it was the only shop for a while.

The door was open but the lights were off in the middle of the day, so it was really dark in there except from the glow of the drink fridge at the back. Really unsettling. There was an old lady at the counter but she didnt look up when we passed her. We went through to get to the drinks, the food on the shelves was dusty and looked like it had been there a while. Then crammed into the back corner was a small collection of second hand junk, including a box of cast iron cookware. Exactly what I had been looking for. $10 for the lot. Great deal. Paid the uninterested lady and got the hell out of there.

They got busted for distributing drugs and shut down not long after. Which answered pretty much all the questions I had about that experience in general.