Unless you’re providing statistical evidence to back up your claims, I’m not interested in discussing further.
You can continue making whatever excuses you want to justify your mild transphobia, but I’m done debating with you, and haven’t even read this response because it’s nonsense.
Whatever excuse you need to justify how an individual’s request for you to respect their pronouns, their identity as a human being, is up for debate because it somehow inconveniences you.
Except for the most extreme cases you can come up with, nothing is black and white, everything is grey, and your insistence that i must be a bad guy because i challenge anything makes you not terribly worth engaging.
I’m still waiting for evidence of all of these numerous cases of people using pronouns for attention, and all these people making up sexual assault claims. You got any?
Since I’ve clearly lost the argument entirely (sure, bud, sure), you clearly must have a plethora of evidence and examples that actually support your claim.
This entire comment is attacking me, and nothing that I actually said, while using generalizations to paint this picture that I don’t understand unless I can use extremely specific examples.
What part of “This entire debate is a debate about respect” do you not understand, and what argument is there to be had about that? I’d love to hear it, I’d love for you to actually engage with anything I’ve said beyond “yOu HaVe To UnDeRsTaNd ThEiR pOiNt Of ViEw.”
I already covered the grey areas, if you actually what I wrote, you’re just being willfully ignorant about it. “No one should be yelled at for a genuine mistake, but eventually it’s not a mistake and you need to grow.” Wow, yeah, whole lot of grey area in that one too, PHEW, we’re demanding the world.
but you are not a good champion of the cause of all you can come up with is mocking straw men arguments and feigning indignance.
I asked you for statistical evidence to back up your claims and you’ve provided none, so I’ve had to argue your own ridiculous arguments that fell apart under the most basic scrutiny. Sorry you have a terrible take on this? That’s my fault too, that’s me mocking straw men arguments (so you’re admitting that your arguments are all bad faith, straw men arguments, glad to hear it) and feigning indignance?
I’m not feigning anything, once again, using preferred pronouns is basic respect to another human being, and while no one should be offended by genuine mistakes, your continued defense of not showing trans people respect if their pronouns aren’t up to your standard, is transphobic.
So, I apologize if someone who refuses to provide any evidence to back up their claims that there are so very many instances of people making up pronouns, or any instance of how someone requesting certain pronouns creates such an undo burden on the rest of society, isn’t worth me engaging with further.
Keep making excuses for why you have it so much worse than the marginalized group who’s request for respect is apparently a fucking debate.
Absolute clown.
Yes, it is not a huge burden to remember someone’s pronoun,
Then stop arguing otherwise. Stop making excuses. We get it, no one is going to get it the first time, no one is going to remember everything.
By your logic, fascists deserve a seat at the table because otherwise we can’t have a discussion about fascism. Racists deserve a seat at the table because otherwise we can’t see their point of view. White supremacists need a seat at the table because otherwise we’d only hear from those they hate.
But those things come from a real place too, and trying to bully or shame people for it is the same thing you accuse others of.
So you’re just, again, victim blaming and refusing to show any examples of this supposed attention seeking. You got anything beyond a handful of cases over the decades?
You’re right, the amount of respect a person receives should be based on the gender pronouns they use and the overwhelming inconvenience they apparently place on the general population. Yep, respect for a human being should be a debate.
When are you going to blame trans people for Harris losing like the rest of the liberal base seems ready to? I mean, we have to engage with that point of you, right, we have to tolerate the intolerant, right?
Right.
Just a guess here, but are you that desperate to get offended at something that you have to double down on everything you find?
No, I’m more disappointed that those on Lemmy, a supposed left-leaning forum, are ok with trying to justify not using preferred pronouns.
And I’m offended because your entire comment reeked of “if you defend your gender pronouns, some hick who can’t be bothered to read the name tag in front if them and gets so easily offended for being politely corrected a few times during a conversation, we deserve the right to discriminate against you.” That’s literally your last paragraph, so maybe go read what you actually wrote and are defending before getting upset about someone calling you out on it, whether or not you’re ready to recognize it internally.
Where in my comment did you find an opening for someone politely correcting a preferred name, to turn it into a snarky taking over the person.
I’ve never once said people can’t make mistakes, but this complete “well it’s difficult and ignorance is always an excuse” that all of you seem to be conveying is ridiculous. And it’s absolutely a taking over of a person: pronouns are part of how a person identifies, akin to their name. Your example used a convention full of people wearing name tags that had their names and their pronouns on them. So, you can’t read? You can’t listen and hope you hear someone use the pronoun in a sentence? You can’t go, “Hm, lemme do a quick Google and see how people use zhe/zher in a sentence.”
Again, that would be like saying, “I can’t pronounce Rajesh, even though you’ve politely corrected me several times, but this time you got upset so now I’m either calling you Steve or potentially just never bringing you up again.” That was your entire comment, “This is too difficult for some people, so they don’t have to ever learn.”
Nor have I ever said that trans folks are justified in overreactions to people making genuine mistakes, but the attitude in this thread seems to be “it’s ok to not take them seriously or dismiss them,” which isn’t ok.
We can argue the minutiae of very specific situations where it is or isn’t justified, but overall, I don’t see a situation where there should be confusion around “they.” If you’re having a conversation with or about someone, you likely understand the context around the conversation and should, without much difficulty, be able to follow and understand who “they” is referring to in regards to being a singular or plural pronoun. Especially if you’re at a convention, assuming business/professional since you mentioned name tags, you should be smart enough to figure it out quick enough.
If you’re reading and can’t understand “they,” you’ve either missed context or the author has failed to adequately define who “they” is in that instance. In 2024, I imagine you can look it up for a book, or maybe ask the person in the conversation to clarify if you’re not sure. It’s not hard, it’s laziness on the part of those who “just can’t get with the times.”
You may want to dismiss or ignore those that take advantage of the gender topic purely for the attention, or lie about sexual abuse for revenge or money, but that doesn’t make it disappear.
Doesn’t make what disappear? Can you show me actual, statistical evidence to back up how many people are lying and just seeking attention? This reeks of conservative victim blaming and dismissal of actual victims.
Does it happen? Sure, but I highly highly doubt it happens in any meaningful amount for your statement here to bear any wait beyond, again, victim blaming.
but you’re using the vocal objections as false flags just as much as the media used the false arguments as reasons to minimize the groups themselves.
I have no idea what you’re trying to convey here beyond something akin to “well, not all men.” I’m not accusing every person of being transphobic that struggles to adapt to new pronouns, but they’re also words, you can learn them quickly, especially in your native language. And being offended if someone continues to correct you is more of a reflection on you, the individual who can’t or won’t adapt, to understand that “this is too complicated” isn’t a valid excuse after a certain point.
And my entire thing, this whole comment chain, has been about how using proper pronouns is showing respect for someone, and y’all are making any excuse you can possibly think of to try and find situations where disrespect is justified due to your own failings or inability to grow.
Trans people have enough to deal with, is asking other people to use breath expelled from their lungs to show them respect, even with grace periods for adapting, really asking for the fucking moon here? Like, seriously, all of the controversy around trans people, and pronouns is the hill y’all want to die on? Seriously?
And as I pointed out in my original comment, you’re allowed to not use new pronouns or respect them or whatever, but you’re not allowed to be upset when society treats you in kind.
But Biden can’t lie once. Got it.
I mean… He ran in 2020 saying he would only be a one-term President…
And then him and his staff hid his cognitive decline well past the start of the primaries…
He also said there’d be consequences for Israel if they didn’t start allowing aid into Gaza…
So that’s four lies, counting his backtrack on pardoning his son.
The problem is Biden helped create the legal system he’s now shielding his son from. The same legal system that put thousands upon thousands of sons and daughters behind bars.
And with the recent attention police conduct has gotten (and all the footage we see of officers abusing/torturing/beating/killing those being arrested), how many of those kids never made it to the courtroom because of ol’ Joe “Maybe Cops Can Just Shoot-em in the Leg” Biden and the militarized police force he helped create?
You’re right, Republicans are corrupt to the core, they’re pieces of shit, and they have and will do things that are worse than this. But that doesn’t excuse the fact that this only benefits the Biden family, and is corruption, full stop. I understand why he did it, and I’ve gone back and forth on whether I’d do the same in his shoes (which probably means I would)…
But he deserves to be criticized for it, as I would be, because it’s blatant corruption, and just reinforces the notion amongst non-voters that both parties are the same, they only care about protecting and enriching their own, and us plebs can just go fuck ourselves.
And actions like this are exactly why people say “both parties,” because they prove it.
Still waiting for my apology.
Ok drag, yep, you’re right.
Still waiting for my apology.
Oh, I’m sorry, drag is right, drag didn’t call me a Trump supporter, drag only called me a Nazi. Though, I distinctly remember you telling me I wanted you and all of your friends dead, but you aren’t worth any more time looking because you’ll use whatever mental gymnastics you need to to continue to feel that you’re right about everything.
The rest of your comment is meaningless, drag, I didn’t purposefully misgender you, and I thought I corrected it before you saw via an edit. It wasn’t malicious, and if it was, why would I be referring to you as drag in every other instance I refer to you?
Utterly meaningless, much like what you provide to literally every discussion you’ve been involved in. I clearly laid out my reasoning behind why Buddhism is a spiritual practice as opposed to a religion, including the fact that, by definition, religion requires the worship of a superhuman ability, primarily through a God or God’s, which Buddhism does not have, as I pointed out in my first comment.
I like how you are throwing a temper tantrum because I accidentally misgendered you in one comment out of the dozens you and I have exchanged, yet I already know you’re not going to apologize for unjustly calling me a Nazi because that’s somehow justified in your empty head.
You are a child, drag, and you need to get over yourself. I wasn’t insulting Buddhism, I was trying to show you how it doesn’t meet the definition of a religion. And in turn, you’re now defending atheism, or attacking atheism, (you’re writing makes zero sense), and I never claimed that Buddhism is perfect. It’s not an organized religion, it’s just not, idk why you’re doubling down on this when you are just wrong.
And for the record, I am an atheist, you insufferable bag of hot air, and your comment doesn’t lend you the credibility you think it does. Nor did I ever claim to be a good person.
I’m done, drag, any time I see you from now on will only be to demand my apology, with a link to the screenshot for all of Lemmy to see what an insufferable, miserable child Drag really is.
For the insufferable child who can’t admit they’re wrong:
I already did.
I’m still waiting for you to apologize for calling me a fascist Nazi Trump supporter who wants you and all of your friends dead, but I guess that would involve you admitting you were wrong about anything, and I know that’s impossible for someone like drag.
Edit: I’m waiting…
Y know what, fuck it, I’m so sick of this. I’m actually attempting to defend you and Buddhism here, and I’m getting this nonsense pedantic questioning.
You’re right, Buddhism is a religion, and it’s a shit poison just like every other religion, and you’ve proved that. Hurray for Drag, once again proving drag’s superior intellect over everyone on Lemmy.
Edit: Absolutely insufferable, and to think I was defending your pronouns in another thread too, despite you being an insufferable tool.
Edit 2: I’d link the whole write up, but you’d probably start pedantically arguing against my point because you’re just the smartest fucking person in the world.
I’m claiming Buddhism isn’t a religion at all, it’s a spiritual practice.
It’s a spiritual practice, an ideology or philosophy, there’s no centralized Buddhist religion with an unelected figurehead dictating your “religion.” You can buy a pillow and watch some YouTube videos on Buddhist practices, and you’re a Buddhist so long as you follow the ideology and practices. There’s no weekly check-ins at the church, no needing to pass certain coming-of-age rights, no baptisms or indoctrination ceremonies, no pressure to convert those around you.
But I wouldn’t call you religious, I’d call you spiritual. You’re attempting to gain an enlightened and spiritual connection with the world/universe around you. You’re not trying to appease a God in the hopes you’ll be granted an eternal afterlife, and following every single religious rule/practice is the only way to ensure that.
Better to be judged by twelve than carried by six. To me, it’s solid advice (so long as the individual can own a firearm responsibly, which is an individual decision) for individuals of minority groups to arm themselves.
The majority of situations will be like the other commenter said: arm yourself to protect yourself against groups looking to do you harm. It won’t surprise me to hear about groups of bigots rolling up on LGBTQ+ clubs and following people home to attack/assault/kill them, or if we see more Pulse Nightclub shooting events.
Remember, Reagan pushed for gun control as the Gov of California only after the Black Panthers started carrying weapons to their rallies. Yeah, push comes to shove, the police/government have way bigger and better weapons than the average American.
But that was true back then too, and it still scared the government enough to pass firearm restrictions. Peaceful protests can remain a lot more peaceful when the police know the other side is packing too. (I say CAN because obviously once weapons are introduced to any situation, violence is introduced as a potential consequence)
No one wants to be the first one shot, even if you’ve got a tank/machine gun behind you as backup.
I’ve always heard Buddhism referred to more as a spiritual practice than a religious one. Buddhism has no “deity,” the Buddha would not have condoned the worship of himself as a God. Buddhism’s whole thing deals with karma and the path the self enlightenment, which is the key difference between Buddhism (and other spiritual “religions”): spirituality is self contained, religion isn’t.
Per most actual religions, you need to worship in certain places, listening to certain people, and many religions encourage the conversion of those outside of the religion (sometimes by force). The community aspect is a requirement of the religion, it’s not considered “kosher” to just do it all by yourself in your house.
And thus, these religions tend to be organized: they have a hierarchy, a power structure, hell, some ever have their own governments/countries. They protect their own, shielding them from the law despite their pedophilic transgressions (cough cough Catholicism), they require tithes or their patrons but rarely offer financial assistance to their own parishes.
Buddhism can be practiced in groups (monks and monasteries), but those groups are not forcefully trying to convert outsiders (though they may welcome them), and they aren’t necessary. You can practice Buddhism entirely on your own and still be faithfully practicing all of the tenets of the “religion,” despite never interacting with any type of significant religious figures.
I’ve never met a Buddhist who sat down next to me at dinner and started asking when I’m going to accept Buddha and start going to meditation and find my inner chakra and give up all of my possessions for the pursuit of pure enlightenment, or tell me I’m going to reincarnate as a disfigured creature because I’m trans.
I have been told by various folks of various Abrahamic-Religion flavors that I’m going to hell for being trans, need to repent/kill myself, been asked when I’m going back to church, how I can turn my back on my creator, told religion will fix my depression/mental issues, and so on.
And the fact that the majority of religions rely on the indoctrination of children for their member base to remain consistent/strong enough, rather than allowing people to find their teachings and accept/deny them for themselves when they can consent as adults, should tell you most religions are more akin to cults than anything actually beneficial to society.
Finding out who the true allies are to the LGBTQ+ community.
Once I lose my VA disability, I’ll be priced out of existing, I won’t be able to afford my debt, mortgage, bills, and then food and such. I’d have to double my income overnight, and I have zero training or certifications or degrees beyond an AS in General Studies, so it’s not going to happen.
I’m less worried about the national guard than I am about local law enforcement across the country, Trump will give them the green light with impunity.
My biggest fear, though? They’re going to ban all LGBTQ±related healthcare using the same mechanisms as the Federal Minimum Drinking Age Act of 1984. “Sure, the states can choose the drinking age types of LGBTQ+ healthcare they offer in their state… They just won’t have access to federal funding if it isn’t 21 absolutely none.”
I know who you’re talking about, drag, drag has called me a racist, Trump supporting fascist who wants drag and all of drags friends dead because I had the audacity to criticize Harris and the DNC. Drag backed off that when I pointed out to drag that I’m a trans veteran who voted for Harris.
I’ve never had difficulty understanding drag, and as much as I think drag is full of hot air, I respect drag enough as a fellow human to refer to drag in drag’s preferred way. Drag is using the third person, this has been a trope in popular media for years and no one has complained about it.
Did y’all have a hard time relating to and understanding The Boulder in Avatar the Last Airbender? He refers to himself as “The Boulder” instead of his pronouns, where’s the uproar around that?
Let’s take it to real life: I googled it, pro wrestlers The Rock, The Big Guy, Santina Marella, Kanyon, and Stone Cold Steve Austin all regularly used the third person to refer to themselves. They used other pronouns as well, I’m not denying that, but you all act like this is some completely unheard of new thing that only these woke leftists are doing.
It’s respect, full stop. It’s the equivalent of someone saying their name is Rajesh and you say, “Eh, Steve is easier, I’m used to the name Steve, I can’t pronounce whatever you just said so the only way we’re equals is if I can just call you Steve.” That’s insane, y’all need to stop making excuses as to why showing respect to another individual is sooooooo hard.
And FYI, in writing this, I only had to go back and make three changes where I used an improper pronoun in when referring to drag. Again, if I can show basic respect to someone who called me a fascist nazi, why can’t y’all do it for your friends, family, and coworkers? It’s not hard, and I’m 30, so it’s not like I was brought up with zhe/zher/zhers and all this other stuff either my entire childhood, I didn’t learn what transgender was until I was in the Navy.
Edit: Drag told me I insulted drag and lied to Lemmy by defending drag here, so I’ve crossed it out and will let drag defend drag’s pronouns alone. Drag doesn’t want my help because, in drag’s own words, I’m a Nazi who purposefully misgendered drag and only wrote the above to insult and hurt drag.
Yet refuses to apologize for falsely calling me a Nazi:
We’re still in the growing pains version of it, though, where there are far too many people taking advantage of a legitimate position just for the attention.
I would argue “who cares?” And please, explain to me how many “far too many” is? Because the trans population makes up under 1% of the US population, so I’m really trying to wrap my head around <1% is “far too many” of anything.
This is just excuses, I’m sorry. I get “zhe/zher/zhers” is awkward to see, but watch this: “Debra is amazing, have you had zher apple pie?”
Phew, nearly suffered an aneurysm on that one. 🙄
Another issue is that there is a component of needing to be vocal and firm or no one will take you seriously, but it’s a fine line between that and being obnoxious and over-asking…reminding someone who wants to be considerate is good, being offended at someone intentionally mis-labeling may be necessary, but being offended by honest mistakes or berating someone for not realizing zhe or zher or some newly defined label was a thing definitely hurts the cause.
First, your last line is bullshit, it’s the same logic that’s been used for every single oppressed group asking for basic respect from their oppressors.
When women standing up against sexual harassment really started to gain national attention, the news anchors made the exact same arguments you’re making now. “Oh, it’s just a man being friendly! Now men won’t want to hire women because they’ll be sued! We’ve behaved this way for decades and now it’s a problem? God, Debbie is such a cunt for reporting me for rubbing her shoulders, I was just trying to be nice!”
When women reported it, it was often, “They’re just looking for a payout/attention! Why didn’t they bring this up for the last X amount of time?! Why do women have to be so rude about it?!”
When gay marriage was being fought for, what did we hear? “Oh, can’t they keep that behind closed doors? It just makes me uncomfortable, I don’t think the children should see that! It’s always been Adam and Eve for me, I’m 40 years old, how am I supposed to learn to use the word “partner” instead of “husband/wife”?!”
Notice how it’s always the oppressed who are asking for too much, always? Always, it’s always the oppressed asking for too much. But when they say, “Hey, society, can you do XYZ to show me some basic dignity and respect?” what are we met with?
“We’re still in the growing pains, people are taking advantage, we need to be patient, you need to know your place and when it’s ok to speak up, but make sure you know the correct amount to speak up, otherwise they have the right to just not respect you.”
For fucking words, that’s what y’all are doubling down on, something that costs you no money or effort beyond treating someone like a person, and respecting their reasonable request. They’re not asking for you to paint their face from memory, or have their star-chart memorized and they yell at you for not knowing that Mercury was in retrograde, or chastising you for not knowing the exact date and time they were born.
If they’ve introduced themselves and their pronouns, and you can’t be bothered to respect that, you’re just a dick at best and transphobic at worst. It’s really that simple, it’s a sign of respect, and any excuse for why you can’t use words is just an excuse to disrespect those you don’t feel deserve it. And that’s an internal issue the individual needs to get over, but the LGBTQ+ community doesn’t need to coddle a society that can’t be bothered to show them the respect of using proper pronouns.
Get used to hearing the “pull funding” threat, it’s how they’re going to start chipping away at minority rights (LGBTQ+, women, Latino, Black, etc).
Have your three branches of government pass an act tying a state-decision to federal funding ala the National Minimum Drinking Age Act of 1984, and we’re going to see state’s comply.