I’m not saying it’s always the right idea to stay with someone in this sort of situation. But the fact that you did was probably a major reason she could be successful. She knew she had support and that is so, so important.
I agree, it is probably not advisable for most people to do what I did.
There are many details left out of the story, but the things that really helped were that it was obvious to everyone she was a good person that was having some kind of mental illness. The police and judge were definitely not thrilled with her, but they all seemed to recognize she was not your typical troublemaker. They could have made the situation much harder to deal with.
Also her being from a family that is solidly upper middle class that is very close with each other. They also supported her emotionally, and were able to afford her treatment at the hospital and her lawyer whereas I would not have been able to.
She was extremely fortunate, all considered, throughout the whole process. It was always apparent that she wanted help. I’m a bit of refurbished “damaged goods” myself, so I was able to spot a lot of potential situations before they got much chance to develop, and could tell her to get her medications adjusted or what things to talk to her psychologist about.
Most people in her case I’m sure do not have anywhere near the resources available we did, which I do not take for granted, and she has known that also, especially being in the group therapies has shown her what could have been and I feel that was very helpful.
I don’t like getting credit for anything, as with any one factor being missing from the whole situation would have let the whole mess fall back down. I absolutely was one key ingredient, but if you asked me, I’d say a few other people were more overall significant.
But she’s the only one that had to be there through the whole thing. The rest of us could all have given up if we wanted to at any time. But she faced it all head on and dealt with every bit of it herself. It takes an amazingly strong person to do that, and that is my favorite thing about her is that inner strength while still caring so much for the other people around her.
I’m not saying it’s always the right idea to stay with someone in this sort of situation. But the fact that you did was probably a major reason she could be successful. She knew she had support and that is so, so important.
That is the good kind of conditional love; condition is “love yourself and work towards a better tomorrow”
I agree, it is probably not advisable for most people to do what I did.
There are many details left out of the story, but the things that really helped were that it was obvious to everyone she was a good person that was having some kind of mental illness. The police and judge were definitely not thrilled with her, but they all seemed to recognize she was not your typical troublemaker. They could have made the situation much harder to deal with.
Also her being from a family that is solidly upper middle class that is very close with each other. They also supported her emotionally, and were able to afford her treatment at the hospital and her lawyer whereas I would not have been able to.
She was extremely fortunate, all considered, throughout the whole process. It was always apparent that she wanted help. I’m a bit of refurbished “damaged goods” myself, so I was able to spot a lot of potential situations before they got much chance to develop, and could tell her to get her medications adjusted or what things to talk to her psychologist about.
Most people in her case I’m sure do not have anywhere near the resources available we did, which I do not take for granted, and she has known that also, especially being in the group therapies has shown her what could have been and I feel that was very helpful.
I don’t like getting credit for anything, as with any one factor being missing from the whole situation would have let the whole mess fall back down. I absolutely was one key ingredient, but if you asked me, I’d say a few other people were more overall significant.
But she’s the only one that had to be there through the whole thing. The rest of us could all have given up if we wanted to at any time. But she faced it all head on and dealt with every bit of it herself. It takes an amazingly strong person to do that, and that is my favorite thing about her is that inner strength while still caring so much for the other people around her.