Misogyny is subversive. It’s capable of being internalized. It is consistent. The ideology behind it is enforced in subtle ways throughout the entirety of our lives. We become accustomed to it, expectant of it. We are trained to accept it and be tolerant of it. Misogyny can seem beneficial to certain women, and those will readily accept it and become ignorant of the consequences it has for them.
Misogyny also doesn’t exist in a vacuum. It exists alongside white supremacy, xenophobia, queerphobia, ableism, classism, and other forms of social oppression. Women can identify with and ideologically support any of those systems of oppression. All of them interconnect, though. Each system is built partially on the foundations of the others. They all affect each other. Being a white supremacist doesn’t make you a misogynist, but those 2 things are ideologically consistent with each other. White supremacists tend to support misogynists and vice versa.
When we realize Misogyny not simply as a singular concept on its own, but rather a socially constructed one interconnected with different systems of power - it’s actually very conceivable for women to be misogynists and actively participate in the oppression of women. They are able to firstly distance themselves from the group being oppressed using logic like “I’m an oppresser, I am not oppressed.” Then they are welcomed into the greater sphere of social bigotry and systems of power. White supremacists uphold patriarchal households and white mothers, for instance. Xenophobic households uphold women and mothers from their nation and who share their religion. They are upheld not as a form of empowerment but as an example by which to compare others.
I can’t say exactly why this woman specifically has chosen to actively participate in the subjugation of women, but it is a predictable phenomenon and, unfortunately, part of the strategy of fascism.
This reminds me of the many stories I have heard of family gatherings; the women all prep food and cook while the men drink beers and watch sports or talk about their work. Men who tried to help their wives in the kitchen got weird looks, and women who didn’t feel comfortable playing the role of tradwife got scolded and shunned.
The misogyny is ingrained in those families, so much so that the women do not recognize it and instead take pride in their ‘role.’ It brings them comfort to exist in a space where their contribution is both defined and ‘valued,’ despite the ‘role’ existing as a result of misogyny. Attempts to change these expectations are seen as undermining the importance of their ‘roles’ and thus treated like affronts to their contributions.
Yeah that doesn’t fly in my household. I do all the cooking for gatherings, yes, doing as much mise en place as possible, not wrecking the kitchen but towards the end always of course there is mess.
Then I make myself a drink and ask the guys to do a round of dishes/cleaning. Then we eat and then someone else does the dishes and cleans the kitchen.
So yes there are “roles” but it’s more like shifts, I’m very good at cooking but a disinterested housekeeper at best so my husband handles most of the kitchen cleaning. I just try not to be an asshole and completely wreck the kitchen while cooking.
Misogyny is subversive. It’s capable of being internalized. It is consistent. The ideology behind it is enforced in subtle ways throughout the entirety of our lives. We become accustomed to it, expectant of it. We are trained to accept it and be tolerant of it. Misogyny can seem beneficial to certain women, and those will readily accept it and become ignorant of the consequences it has for them.
Misogyny also doesn’t exist in a vacuum. It exists alongside white supremacy, xenophobia, queerphobia, ableism, classism, and other forms of social oppression. Women can identify with and ideologically support any of those systems of oppression. All of them interconnect, though. Each system is built partially on the foundations of the others. They all affect each other. Being a white supremacist doesn’t make you a misogynist, but those 2 things are ideologically consistent with each other. White supremacists tend to support misogynists and vice versa.
When we realize Misogyny not simply as a singular concept on its own, but rather a socially constructed one interconnected with different systems of power - it’s actually very conceivable for women to be misogynists and actively participate in the oppression of women. They are able to firstly distance themselves from the group being oppressed using logic like “I’m an oppresser, I am not oppressed.” Then they are welcomed into the greater sphere of social bigotry and systems of power. White supremacists uphold patriarchal households and white mothers, for instance. Xenophobic households uphold women and mothers from their nation and who share their religion. They are upheld not as a form of empowerment but as an example by which to compare others.
I can’t say exactly why this woman specifically has chosen to actively participate in the subjugation of women, but it is a predictable phenomenon and, unfortunately, part of the strategy of fascism.
This reminds me of the many stories I have heard of family gatherings; the women all prep food and cook while the men drink beers and watch sports or talk about their work. Men who tried to help their wives in the kitchen got weird looks, and women who didn’t feel comfortable playing the role of tradwife got scolded and shunned.
The misogyny is ingrained in those families, so much so that the women do not recognize it and instead take pride in their ‘role.’ It brings them comfort to exist in a space where their contribution is both defined and ‘valued,’ despite the ‘role’ existing as a result of misogyny. Attempts to change these expectations are seen as undermining the importance of their ‘roles’ and thus treated like affronts to their contributions.
And so the cycle continues…
Yeah that doesn’t fly in my household. I do all the cooking for gatherings, yes, doing as much mise en place as possible, not wrecking the kitchen but towards the end always of course there is mess. Then I make myself a drink and ask the guys to do a round of dishes/cleaning. Then we eat and then someone else does the dishes and cleans the kitchen.
So yes there are “roles” but it’s more like shifts, I’m very good at cooking but a disinterested housekeeper at best so my husband handles most of the kitchen cleaning. I just try not to be an asshole and completely wreck the kitchen while cooking.