Men’s lack of deep, close friendships has been in the spotlight lately. A recent Pew Research Center study found that 54% of women say they turn to a friend for emotional support, but only 38% of men say they do. Essayist Sam Graham-Felsen and American Institute for Boys and Men CEO Richard Reeves join John Yang to discuss why some men seem to struggle with maintaining social connections.
It’s pretty rare for a “deep” friendship to work in spite of external changes (having kids, moving for work, politics) AND internal changes (generational experience, level of maturity, dealing with personal stressors)
Instead of looking for a nostalgic ideal of friendship, I think its more realistic to just make a goal to place yourself in new social activities that can give you fun moments of human connection.
Honestly, at this point in my middle age, it mainly comes down to: Do we have anything in common? Cool. Can we have a comfortable conversation beyond small talk? Great. Are we both willing to make time to hang? Awesome. Anything “deeper” can come later and organically IF the connection lasts. I can count on my hand how many “deep” friendships remain in my life.