“She would say to me all the time, ‘I forget that I’m talking to a child’,”
I keep seeing this sentence, or a very similar one: “you are very/too mature for your age”. I wonder if most abusers kind of need to justify the abuse in the same way.
This one, I can’t remember what study it was but something like half of all child sexual abusers were not attracted to children but instead had very stunted social skills (usually disabled or otherwise mentally ill) and struggle to connect with anyone with more advanced social needs than children. This results in them praying on the most vulnerable which is usually children. Seems to fit the article well as she seemed to like working with special needs or abused children
I always assumed this was a common step in the grooming process, tell them they’re super mature for their age so that when they proceed to try to establish an adult relationship it feels to be less shockingly inappropriate to the victim
I work in residential therapy. Abusers always find some means to justify and normalize their abuse so the vulnerable youth just go along with it thinking they are the ones at fault. It’s infuriating and heartbreaking how many youth I work with that have to be deprogrammed from this kind of thought while simultaneously taught healthy boundaries for other youth and adults. Nothing claws at your soul more than reading about all the awful shit an abuser did or put a child through only for that child to be crying at night begging for a chance to talk with their abuser again.
“She would say to me all the time, ‘I forget that I’m talking to a child’,”
I keep seeing this sentence, or a very similar one: “you are very/too mature for your age”. I wonder if most abusers kind of need to justify the abuse in the same way.
Or are they immature themselves.
This one, I can’t remember what study it was but something like half of all child sexual abusers were not attracted to children but instead had very stunted social skills (usually disabled or otherwise mentally ill) and struggle to connect with anyone with more advanced social needs than children. This results in them praying on the most vulnerable which is usually children. Seems to fit the article well as she seemed to like working with special needs or abused children
I always assumed this was a common step in the grooming process, tell them they’re super mature for their age so that when they proceed to try to establish an adult relationship it feels to be less shockingly inappropriate to the victim
I work in residential therapy. Abusers always find some means to justify and normalize their abuse so the vulnerable youth just go along with it thinking they are the ones at fault. It’s infuriating and heartbreaking how many youth I work with that have to be deprogrammed from this kind of thought while simultaneously taught healthy boundaries for other youth and adults. Nothing claws at your soul more than reading about all the awful shit an abuser did or put a child through only for that child to be crying at night begging for a chance to talk with their abuser again.