I think you mean jeans.

QR code for Patreon account!

Archeologists: “This was probably for ceremonial use, in fertility rites”.

“What happened?”
“The new proton burped out a couple of leptons and switched back to a particle similar to the the old proton.”

Then later that night, in fact nearly every night…
“this is not happening this is not happening thisisnothappening MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB LITTLELAMB LITTLELAMB…!”

Try and control those rabidly ignorant bigots you force-fed with anti-science, anti-reason raw red meat, let’s see how that goes.
This is 'Murica! Muh freehdum!

He’s got that ol’ New York City Metropolitan Area Transit Authority Blues again, momma!

Remember to smash that LOVE button to subscribe to more JD facts!

Thus, barter was discovered (invented?) and a civilization was born.

Must have been originally forged by the McDonald clan.

The average USA voter has already given hitler the keys to the kingdom.

In 2016, the battleground state non-voter empowered the goose-steppers and crippled everyone’s future.
In 2024, the average USA non-voter ignored every single alarm bell going full blast and destroyed any hope for that future.

And still the average USA non-voter sits, twiddling their thumbs, waiting to be catered to, to be dazzled. Waiting for their own version of a messiah with a magic political wand, too lazy, ignorant to the point of medieval, and impatient to even begin and try to understand the principle of inertia, how political will builds up over time and several election cycles.

The way the electorate abandoned Obama during the 2010 midterms and empowered the tea-baggers should have tipped me off about the utter mediocrity of all these precious flowers, “perform miracles overnight, even as you also try to keep the entire economy from collapsing, or go fuck yourself”.

The right-wing propaganda trick is to get people to NOT do what they didn’t want to do in the first place - homework is boring, voting is lame, amirite?

After a quarter of a century of having hope in the eventual decency of the USA electorate, the entire world has given up on them, as moscow and beijing salivate like hungry rats about to feast on a carcass. Now it’s every man for himself.
The average non-voter must be very proud; must feel very special right about now. Congratulations.

“We have done it, Assurnipal my friend. Now we sit back and wait until someone invents the internal combustion engine.”

Stretch Armstrong breaks chirality! That strange sound you hear is CPT Symmetry going down the drain!

“I remember back in the day when I squirted JUST LIKE THAT.”

This is 'Murica, needs more GUN!

Relaxes stressfully

We need to make up a new similar-but-different word, to get rid of the oxymoron. Going through the motions of superficially relaxing could be stated as:

Relaxifies stressfully

Might as well have slapped an “A.I.-powered for your convenience and safety” sign on those doors, while they’re going through the mindless bullshit motions.

Adapt.
Improvise.
Overcome.
Microplastics.

Allowing your mother to put all of her fears into you? Good girl, here’s your reward: (nothing)

Everything… EVERYTHING… related to the orange parasite or any of its’ bootlicking minions, I downvote without looking and move on.