Her first mistake was talking out loud

ESL (English as a Second Language) is an incredibly common and widely recognized acronym (at least in the US, not sure about other countries).

This line of thinking works fine up until you consider the innocent children who are having this idiocy forced on them by their parents.

Other way round. Adam was formed from dust, and Eve was formed from a rib God took from Adam’s chest while he slept.

Wait, does this imply that the goal of Shark Tank is to “get eaten” by the sharks?

It’s Dave Steve.

You gotta tell me what that’s like sometime

Even for hyperbole, this is a crazy thing to say about someone just because you don’t like their drink of choice.

🎵 Streaks on the china…! 🎶

Yeah, that might be because you’re maligning a group of people based on the color of their skin. That’s generally frowned upon.

Sure. Just add it to the pile.

And what a righteous 15 years of uneducated adulthood it’ll be before they die of black lung.

I would argue there is definitely a difference between “do what I say or suffer” and “do what I say and you’ll have a better go of things.” The latter sounds more like advice than abuse.

Bullshit

I worked as a pizza delivery man at the same restaurant for 6 years. My severance was my old car topper.

Haven’t had to pay for parking since. Thing is worth its weight in gold.

Pretty sure that’s Turkey

Software engineers are bad at their jobs.

It’s just that everyone else is worse.

I read somewhere once that one theory behind deja vu is that it’s the result of a temporary de-sync between your left and right brain hemispheres. Usually signals reach each hemisphere at about the same time, but sometimes the signals can be de-synced by a few milliseconds and (theoretically) cause you to process the same thing twice in quick succession, giving you the vague impression of familiarity on the second signal process.

Edit: Messed up a bit. Each hemisphere sends a signal to the temporal lobe for processing, and that’s where the de-sync can happen.

My girlfriend has the same issue. Her doctor told her she was allergic specifically to cat saliva, and since they groom themselves with their tongues their fur has little bits of saliva on them, which triggers a less intense reaction than direct cat licks.

“If you have a deeply emotional reaction to your entire worldview being shattered in your middle age and having everything that once brought you a sense of comfort, however manufactured, suddenly ripped away from you, then you need psychological help.”

At least your brain-dead snark somehow still brought you to the correct conclusion, unintentional as it may have been.