Tall, dark, handsome, and has a cheese platter available at all times.

puts on conspiracy hat

Pen plotters exist. A sufficiently advanced nation state’s intelligence services could replicate his particular style of handwriting with enough data to forge a note like this.

It might be AI but it’s real in my head cannon. All he needs now are akimbo submachine guns to complete the look.

Sign me up!

They can’t know the password if they’ve been stabbed to death

Download (and print) a knife

“Hun, would you rather get $1 million dollars in a year or get $1 in a million years?”

I’d buy from this vendor

Bye

Wow they ain’t send separately

Wow girl you’re so beautiful 😍💕

We need a downlifting news comm.

he lid

It is, in fact, difficult to counter an argument when the person you’re debating has high explosives.

This is about as dumb as the Trump administration taking out the Enola Gay from their websites because it had the word “gay” in it and their search effort was woefully naïve.

Randy Walters is a son of a bitch

The classiest of occasions, Fourth Meal™

There’s a reason why Grindr servers overload when there’s a Republican convention in town.

You’ll find this in the aisle with the pasta

More leche per leche!