• i_need_your_bones@piefed.social
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    1 day ago

    Nope. Bad trips exist. I was sat laying down in my bed the entire time crying while my mind was spiraling down shitty paths that after the trip made zero sense. I was disguested with myself. I couldn’t make myself move. Not locked in but zero motivation. Like that feeling when you need to pee but stay in bed because you’re too tired to move cranked to eleven. I screamed in my head to raise my hand and it took way too much effort to do so.

    I tried to cheer myself up thinking logically about the shit going through my head. It made it much worse. I wanted to die. That’s not hyperbole. About three and a half later I finally got out of bed and into the shower to cry there. I remembered everything I thought of and that I hated myself but it all wasn’t true. Completely illogical and mostly nonesense.

    What did I gain from this? Nothing. You can say whatever you want to pretend there’s some underlying massive rebelation or positive that trip should have given me but I reject that whole heartedly. It just made me feel awful for about 5 hours fucked me up for about a week and made me hesitant do mushrooms again. Didn’t work though as shrooms are delightful most of the time

    • scrion@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      So, what did your integration look like? Did you talk to a professional about this? That’s the part most people seem to leave out, and without that, well…